Complicated

I have been in love with a guy two years elder to me since I was a high school freshman. Gradually he left school for college and I stayed back. The thing is - I love him very much. He is something else. He's different; fearless - and I respect him very much. He has never been particularly nice to me and has absolutely no attachments to me. But I love him and want to be with him.
On one day, I had an argument with him over some s*** and there was this another good friend of me who was by my side(he is also a senior) though he does not know about the previous guy. The same day he said he loved him and out of frustration and disillusionment, I said yes. But I know I dont love him as a boyfriend. It has been 2 years and things have only become worse. He has become so mad for me that he will go to any extent for me.
The thing is my best friend and classmate(also a boy) is in love with me too.
I can't talk about these to anyone.
I am totally responsible for all this mess. Can anyone suggest what I can do?

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  • It's only as complicated as you want to make it. This does sound like the making for a 30 min sitcom. The kind where it could have been solved in the first 5 minutes if the character was just honest from the get go. And that's what you have to do, be honest with yourself and be honest with those around you. Be kind when you tell these guys, because you are dealing with people's feelings. The best way to figure out what to say, is to figure out what you would want to hear if you were on the receiving end. As for the guy that you long for, as it stands right now it's a crush. He has no idea you feel this way about him. Maybe you can get up the nerve to ask him out. Just keep in mind that you've developed strong feelings for him which may not be reciprocated.

  • Yes, I have told the other two guys what was wrong with me. I have been honest - just that I didn't know what the h*** was happening in my life. I was like this totally crazy for someone who didn't give a damn about me. I don't know. Maybe I have made my life really complicated. yet I still love him.

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