I fantasize constantly about watching
I fantasize constantly about watching my BF get it on with someone else. He's indulged me a few times (while I watched), everyone had fun. But recently he's told me he never wants to do it again. We've been together a decade and are married, no kids (but he wants them). I feel like he's rapidly getting more conservative sexually. It's driven me to arrange the fantasy with strangers on business trips (totally safe, again, I just watch), which I feel guilty about. But I get a ridiculous amount of pleasure out of that whole scenario. This is by far the best guy anyone could ask for---sexy, kind, good to me, always in a good mood. I don't want to leave him. But what do you do when you're faced with a lifetime of never addressing your wildest fantasy? Feedback welcome. Others dealing with this?