Want to die
Over forty years ago I tried to commit suicide when I was sixteen. The pills I took were over-the-counter and ultimately harmless. I was so ignorant regarding what would kill me and what wouldn't, no one even knew I tried.
Not succeeding at suicide, and not having the courage to try again, are the biggest mistakes of my life. I've lived 58 years, and out of that, there aren't 58 days I'd live over again if given a choice. No good memories, No good times. And zero contentment or happiness. Absolutely zero. I'm tired. I'm ashamed to have lived this long. It's ridiculous. People told me things would get better. They were lying b****** and son's of b******. Tonight's the night, I swear. I couldn't face tomorrow if I chicken out again.