So I'm dating this chick and she's definitely got more experience under her belt than me in the whole 'love' department. We've known each other for three years (I was the stereotypically friend-zoned guy) and in those I've seen many a dude come and go, each douchier than the rest. And now she's with me and that should be great but I'm so f****** stressed out about it. I'm not an alpha guy by any means. Violence doesn't come quickly for me, and I'm not a high-pressure sort of fellow. I don't take s*** from people but I also don't assert any sort of authority over people because I'm not that sort of person.
She totally wants me sexually but that's not the issue, really, it's her ex-boyfriends. Let's talk about those a*******, shall we?
There's one who we'll call Alex, who thinks he's a god. As in he genuinely believes he can summon ancient beings, and that he fights demons. He'd like nothing more than to wipe the floor with me, which, while entirely plausible (he's taller and stronger) isn't exactly scary. But wow, he's damn annoying.
There's another we'll call Tony, who's nineteen or twenty(she and I are fifteen) and constantly sends her messages calling her beautiful, asking if she wants to hang out, etc. Because she's dumb this way, she's agreed to hang out with him on Wednesday. Yay, me.
There's yet another who we'll call Justin, a stereotypical shade-wearing, leather jacket-wearing fuckwad of a guy who consistently calls me a 'f*****' for dating the girl he lost. If I were more predisposed to violence, I would have beaten the h*** out of him already, but I'll just laugh at him more. It's just as fun.
I mean the list goes on and she's always hanging out with dudes who are more attractive than me, more confident than me, stronger than me, smarter than me, more talented than me. My skillset is basically writing and singing and that's just about it. My ego is the size of a raisin. I'm not a stable person. I'm not a good person by any means, and I'm far from a brave person. I'm just not sure what the h*** to do with all of this stuff. Yeah. So that's that.
For the record, not being predisposed to violence doesn't mean I'm opposed to it. When I get hit, I hit back, and hard. I'm 5'10 and a black belt, so it's not really ever an issue. I just hate fights. Hngh. I just had to get this bull off my chest, so yeah, semi-coherent tirade about whatever incoming in