I think she's dead

Im gonna start from the beginning so this may take a while to read. ok so, i was Xbox live and while i was playing i met a girl named ana, we got along so we decided to talk a bit more and i got an app on my ipod called kik. We talked all the time and we really got to know each other. Eventually i learned that she has attempted suicide before because she was really depressed about life, like she has been raped before and her brother said that she should just die and her dad cheated on her mom and her mom has cancer and life just kinda sucked for her. well i knew how she felt, i had a hard time going on too so we kinda helped each other, we said that we would never leave each others lives and that we'll keep each other strong. (just as an FYI, she's 15 and im 13)the only problem is that we got into a lot of fights so we stopped being friends multiple times for short periods of times. But i never wanted to hurt her and i always apologized because i couldn't see my life without her, i consider her my best friend but not only that she helped me get through me depression. A couple weeks ago, im not sure if it was puberty or some other thing but i kept getting the feeling that no cared if i died or not, even her because she called me things like a b**** and annoying and other stuff and i kept thinking to myself, if she really cared about me than why would she say all that? Well i kinda pushed myself a bit and basically said i dont care about her anymore, after saying some other things. All she said was "f*** you, bye" and ever since than i haven't talked to her, i messaged her saying goodbye because i thought it would be better if we didn't talk anymore but now i know that i was wrong and i want her to be my friend again, and im afraid she may have killed her self now! she hasn't been on Xbox for 9 days and i guess that isn't really much but she's usually on every other day and im scared she's gone. I don't want her to be dead, i would do anything for her and i already know i screwed up really bad but i would do anything to get her back but i don't see anyway to talk to her, email, kik, xbox wont work and i don't have a cell or facebook so i can't see any way to talk to her when she's probably already dead. i know some people will say that i should just forget her but I WON'T! She is my best friend and i will never forget her, i will die for her if i have to! I know nobody will be able to help me i just wanted to get this off my chest and let others know. if you are even still reading this than feel free to comment but i doubt you can help now T_T

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