Me, lately

I'm starting to feel lonely, angry, and used by people again, and it's a bit scary, as I tend to make major mistakes or missteps during these periods. Wrong people, wrong situations, feeding a cycle of bad.

Example: Met a gorgeous, holy crap she was beautiful, woman last night at a sports bar. Smokey blue eyes, great body, high cheekboned face. Just freaking hot. So, we're talking and she goes on about jail time, theft, and no real place to live (bopping around with friends). The real me would get away from this woman in a heartbeat, yet..In my lonely, s**** the world angry state, I could not have been more interested! Even offered her my guest bedroom!

She declined the offer, however, did give me her phone number and email address "in case she needed that room". Talked to her outside as she smoked, learned more bad stuff about her, and ended up taking her home (or whomever's place it was she was staying). For all I know, this HOT ex-con was sizing me up.

Also, in trying to be the nice guy and good brother, I messaged my older sister, who recently lost her husband. The response? "Leave me alone today". My reaction? "Fine, I will..S**** you, too". Now I'm angry at my own widowed sister!

Feel myself going to a bad place if don't keep myself occupied.

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