Ashamed

I'm ashamed of myself in the past for THINKING I was in pain or THINKING there wasnt any hope.
I am stupid.
I helped put myself here. Now I know what pain is. Now I know how it feels when everything goes beyond wrong into crazy wrong. Now I know how it feels to know its all over I have no one and I'm not in a good mindset to take care of a health issue which is serious.

I know what it feels like to wait a very long time for someone and find out they hate me and just wanted me to hurt more. But, I truly love them. Theres no reason for them to want me at all.

And Im not just saying this, family, I only have a few family members and they don't love or care about me. They know I need help. All these years I was their bank or servant.

You know, I lost hope completely several months ago. Its all gone. I wish I could erase me and all traces of me from earth. I know what it feels like to hate myself and know that I need to die.

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  • Who cares how anyone else treats you or how you are viewed. You were put on this earth for a reason. The only person whosle opinion will ever matter is your own. Take care of your health issues immediately and start living the life you were put on this earth to live. Yuo deserve to be happy. Stop cheating yourself.

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