Love and some dirty bits

I am caught between the pain of my sister bullying me everytime I see a guy I like.

I really like this cute guy davidO ... but when I am liking him my sister starts being abusive, she has done this before with other guys like ricky, Jason, William and I really have had enough of it.

I like david and when I seen him in the, quarry, church and castle I fell instantly in love. his rouge manner was very exciting.

then I seen him recently wearing a green casual top and in suits etc and the feeling is still there.

I had to lie and push him away because I was being hurt and abused so much. and I thought he did not like me much.

but if he came to my door I would still love him. if we met at a concert or party or through an acquaintance or going for a night drive I would still like him.

I don't know what to do, there are heaps of men out there who are just as good or better, so why has this guy made such an impression on me?

I would love to have a wicked night maybe at a nightclub and then back to someone's place or mine, with him, just a small group of guys/girls and getting a little ** and ** him on the floor.

I would like him to take me out and have ** with him in a car or where ever so its nice and not like it was with another man I was with.

would he understand that I like ** in strange ways ? I don't need this being kissed all over just yet ...I want a bit of play and I would like to have ** with him discreet or boldly in front of a small group and they move on to another room or something when they see things heating up... whatever happens is ment to be I guess. I want to be a bit wild cuz I don't get the chance to do that a lot. but I want to know for sure he loves me first before we do it. and I am grateful for people helping but I don't need a sideshow. I don't want to have big parties til we are stable as a couple.

I would go for a drive with him and make out on the beach or by the river if he wanted.

is this right? I really need a love of my own. I need him.

William has gone to wifey and has his hands full. he could have loved me right. davidO feels comfortable and **.