My daughter became a stripper as soon

My daughter became a stripper as soon as she turned 18. She is almost 20 now. I didn't mind that she was doing it at a club because I did it myself when I was her age for a few years for many of the same reasons she is doing it now- money. When I met her ex...I stopped. For me it was just dancing/stripping but times have changed and so have attitudes I think and I am not sure what to do.

She started doing private type parties last summer, something I never did. I actually drove her to her first one but she has a girlfriend that sometimes she works with that drives her to most others since her license has been suspended.

The one I took her too was pretty normal. It was a birthday party for a man in his 30's hosted by his wife. There were mostly couples and I hung out in the kitchen drinking coffee for the hour we were there.

My problem is she asked me to take her to another one in 2 weeks because her friend is out of town. I've been driving her to her work for the last week. I think most of these private things are not like the first one however, at least not the ones she's been doing lately because she is more vague when telling me about what she is doing. Instead of wanting me to wait in the house with her this time she asked me just to drop her off and wait for her call to pick her up. She said it might be as long as 3 hours.

I know some may question the whole morality of my past and/or her present, but I worry about her safety. Last night I told her I didn't want her to go alone...couldn't she get another friend to at least be there with her but she refused. When I tried to insist I come in and stay in the house during her show (I have a pistol incease of trouble) she got a little upset and said she just needed the ride because she didn't like waiting on a taxi to come home. She now says she will take one there but still wants me to pick her up. I think she is doing more than just stripping.

I can't talk her out of going. It's not my place to since she is an adult, but I think I need to take her there and wait nearby if she won't let me stay in the house with her. Part of me wants to tell her she is on her own for all of it, but I don't feel I should be like that. Me seeing her nude is not her/my problem, but I'm not sure I would like to stay in the house anyway even if she allowed me too, but I think someone should be there for her just in case.

Jul 8, 2010

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  • I agree with one poster that you need to talk to her about your concerns for her safety and that there is no amount of money that is worth putting herself in danger. She doesn't need to disrespect herself by going beyond stripping and engaging in s** with strange men at these jobs. maybe you can contact the club she works at to find out if they have a policy regarding striping at private parties, and whether they send bouncers with the girls or if the girls are allowed to accept these jobs on their own. Does she have a male family figure that she respects and looks up to that could talk to her about this?

  • Well, my wife was a stripper when we met and I really enjoyed watching her perform knowing that she would be gong home with me. She continued stripping for about eleven years after we married - with a year's break when our daughter was born. Now our daughter is 19 and in college. She has a part time job stripping in a clean club.
    I remember that, when she was nine, I took her to a club to watch her mother perform. It was just before she 'retired'. During her teenage years my wife taught her a few things and so now, she's very popular at the club.
    Rather than criticize her for what she's doing, we support her. Like you, I do a lot of driving for her when needed. She doesn't do private parties thought she's told us she's had offers.
    Occasionally I go to watch her dance. She's good and she's clearly having fun with it. Just as I felt proud when watching my wife strip years ago, I feel very proud of our daughter.

  • What the h***? A father who watches his daughter strip?!!!

  • I can see why you are worried. If I were you I would talk to her about why you are worried and how it isn't necessary to go the extra bit (more than just dancing) to make a lot of money as an exotic dancer.

    The reason why a good dancer makes money is the fantasy of it all. Once you give away too much the fantasy is gone and you won't make more money.

    It seems like you two already have a pretty open and understanding relationship so don't be afraid to voice your concern.

  • hey if you have a son you should let ur duagther practice on him

  • Yeah or me

  • I am the original poster/mom and she is an adult still living with me so it is not as easy as you all think. I went in the homes with her and now I know what she is really doing. It's her life and I just will do my best to keep her as safe as possible.

  • Yes u cant cant keep letting her do this u gotta tell her atleast that if u give her a ride that u have to come in to.

  • You're falling into the typical enabler a mother, not a friend. She obviously has some issues to iron out in her life if she's lost her license for any reason. Tough love is in order...tell her you'll drive her to her job if she gets an acceptable, respectable means of making money. NOT STRIPPING OR PROSTITUTION

  • and if she goes to jail and watev its better that shes in a safe cell then being unsafe with some guys.

  • I can see where ur coming from personally i wouldnt let her strip i know u cant make someone do that but it would rip me apart. and it now it seems her safety is in danger. If i couldnt make her stop, and couldnt make her let me in to make sure shes safe then i would call the cops, atleast u would know she safe and stuff.

  • wow stop enabling her.

  • I am glad you aren't my mother as well, agreeing with an above poster.

    At least I know my mother cares enough about me that she would have the guts to do what she knows is right.

  • I tried to talk her out of it. She is stubborn. I understand the last commneter...not to be an enabler, but it's not as easy to do that. I have never been that strong a person like that. She booked another party tonight. She has no one else to take her. Same argument. I said I would take her only if she let me come in the house with her. She's mad at me right now and didn't answer.

  • Your basic questions should you drive your daughter to her stripper/s** gig? No, you should express that you don't approve of what she is doing and say that she should call call a cab. You should say that you are not her limo service. Stick to your guns. She probably will say that she hates you or something like that. Say that you think that she is going down the wrong path.
    Would you take your daughter to buy illicit drugs? Probably not. Do not be an enabler. Treat her like an adult. There is a reason that she has an suspended license. It's one thing to take to work for a job at a strip club. They have bouncers to handle poorly behaving individuals. It's a completely different story to take her to a random house.

  • so glad you're not my mom

  • Well you were a w****, and now your daughter is. Congrats.

  • sounds to me lke shes not just stripping.....but rather going to these houses for s** and gettin paid for it. If that is the case then you need to get her out of this right now as the consequences could be dire.

  • Well, for starters encouraging her to find another means of income would be good too. As well as accompanying her to private jobs.

  • I know it would be a hard thing to do, "make her" stop stripping.
    It would probably backfire. BUT, if she lets you take her to her
    "private jobs" at least you can keep an eye on her. Yes, all it takes is one or two bad guys. Models often call someone when
    they arive at a known address, and use some follow up calls.
    Some prayers for her mental and physical safety cant do any harm. You love her and care about her!


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