I am a broken man, no soul. I Paid for
I am a broken man, no soul. I Paid for my (then) fiance to have an abortion last August. That same day, we drove 6 hours to my brother's wedding, in which i was one of his "best men" how disgusting and ironic. I can kill innocent unborn but am too pathetic to complete a suidice attempt. Now I am separated from the woman i was to marry, unemployed, disabled Vet with no direction no faith in god and no plan for recovery. Almost 30 years old and moved back in with mommy. Embarrassing and Disgusting. I am paralyzed with fear and self loathing. No self esteem, no discipline, not even though i quit ALL drugs: both legal medications for depression/bipolar and illegal "alternative medicines" 14 days ago. They obviously didn't keep my relationship together so what's the point. Medical discharge for depression. Multiple suicide attempts, multiple concussions. Social Anxiety, i stare at the ceiling and avoid my problems. I have been afforded many opportunities yet don't have any sense of who I am, aside from lost, broken, depressed, pathetic, unlovable. Where can I go to escape from myself? I have no more dignity. In my stupor and sorrow I slept with a woman, who, though separated, was still technically married. Disgusting. Disgusting. No excuses, i deserve pain even though i want to hurry up and die. With my luck i'll live 50 more years. This is H***.