My boyfriend

I love my boyfriend to death but sometimes I think it would be better if I killed him he's wonderful most of the time and he's great in bed I really do love him so much but sometimes he's just down right unreasonable and his temper is out of control I want to get married to him I want us to spend the rest of our lives together but his temper and how he can be so mean and hurtful makes me want to hurt him sometimes...if only he was better at expressing himself and his feelings to me :/ ugh

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  • Abusers always have excuses or reasons why the behaviors occur; it's all a bunch of horse dodo. You are young don't fall for that crap.

  • Hmmm... Better start running now. Sounds like a potential abuser. Leave them alone, they will mess up your life.

  • .....sometimes.........a b**** just need a beating.

  • "sometimes i think it would be better if i killed him." now that is true love.

  • LOL. I guess when she says "I love my boyfriend to death", she means it.

  • I know that you love him, but if he is mean to you to the point where he loses his temper what makes you think it's going to work. I bet the only time he is really nice to you is when he wants something or did something. He uses his temper and his advantage of your fellings for him to keep you dependant on him and to control the relationship. Am I right?

  • ^^ this person ^^ is totally right. your guy is using you as a release from all this supposed stress he has. they have a name for a situation where one person is venting frustration and anger/rage on an external object: its called a punching bag. if you arent that already you soon will be. get out of this dangerous and risky relationship before something ugly and irreversible happens. this man doesnt have stress problems: he has control problems and mental problems. you dont need it.

  • Move on girl. One day he will kill you, or you him. It's poison baby. You need a kind and gentle man who will love you properly. He's bad for you and he's drawing you into his insanity. You can do so much better.

  • My uncle was like that but he got better after 20 years in prison for sticking a bread knife in her heart one day during a rage. He was very sorry and she was very dead.

  • No he doesn't use me as a punching bag he does not always freak out we can have a great week two weeks three I don't agree at all I'm not scared or afraid of him I do yell and scream back at him I would just prefer not to argue at all I'd like to figure out a way to calm him down when he gets angry because yelling and screaming only makes things worst but after all is said and done we are good we are happy we talk about everything calm cool and collected

  • Suggest counseling for the both of you. Seriously. Lots of couples argue, but they don't have to be screaming matches. Maybe don't yell back. Tell him you're going to go to another room and wait for him to cool off. And then you both can talk without raising voices. Not sure if he's able to do that.. If you are both invested in this relationship, then suggest getting help so you both can communicate in a more effective manner. You both have to want to change. If you have kids, please don't fight in front of them. It's not healthy for them to witness their parents fighting. You seem to be defending your guy, which is understandable. These posts only give a glimpse into your life. No one truly knows your situation, but you. When you use words such as anger, screaming and rage etc. a lot of images of uncontrollable rage and beating come to mind..

  • Well we both do want to change we already said that we would never fight in front of our children and he can talk without raising his voice he has never hit me tho ever just screams he doesn't throw things besides one time when I took off my engagement ring and said I was done and gave it to him he put it back in the box and threw it but moments later he apologized and asked me to put the ring back on I didn't for a while untill we talked about it we can talk without fighting I know we just need to communicate better I love him for his personality sometimes he can be so sweet it brings me to tears he writes me really beautiful songs and poems

  • hes a f***** psycho. you should run. i mean now. RUN!!!

  • No I honestly don't agree we cuddle a lot and watch movies he only yells when he's stressed and he doesn't have anything to take it out o like video games and he plays guitar and writes songs so that helps I'm I'm not dependent on the relationship I work he works and we don't live together I hang with friends without him

  • insane. the both of you.

  • Well that's why we love each other we insane together that's why we click so well

  • For the love of life and limb do not marry him. If he doesn't straighten up and fly right, which means not drinking excessively and never throwing temper tantrums, dump him. Do it before having kids or getting married. A man with a temper is no good for a family.

  • He doesn't drink excessively he just gets very angry at the drop of a hat and I love him

  • Do you love him enough to die for him? (at his hands)

  • Yes so you all can call me crazy

  • You can love him, but you can't excuse, ignore or love this potentially very dangerous problem away. It doesn't make him a bad person, it makes him a person who needs help. Having emotions is normal. Getting so angry at a switch or feeling enraged each time, is NOT normal. That has to be terrifying. What happens (if he hasn't already) gotten so mad he hits you? breaks things? What happens if you continue to make excuses for him, you get married and have children and it continues to escalate and one of the children is harmed? If he is controlling, overly jealous, and excessively possessive these are all signs that you could be in a battered women relationship. And you say you love him but it would be better if you killed him? Seriously, WTF kind of statement is that? If you are trapped or feel that it is unsafe for you to just leave, look to local resources to help you escape. Again, you can love someone but don't be naive and love yourself enough to know that maybe this relationship is not the best.

  • "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" guy here. I'm not going to make assumptions about your relationship but *IF* the above poster is correct and you find yourself taking extra care not to upset him then that's a more serious problem than a book can resolve. In that case you need to tell him, flat out, that sometimes his temper frightens you and that until he learns to control it you're not going any further in the relationship. Therapy might help and you can help support him as he tries to become a better man but at the end of the day your partner should make you feel safe, being frightened of them is an absolute deal breaker.

  • But he doesn't frighten me just upset me to be yelled at and I've left him before because of his temper

  • Then as long as he keeps working on it your relationship has a future.

  • I had one like yours. Leaving her was the best thing I ever did. It was hard. I loved her but she was explosive. Sometimes we love the wrong person for all the right reasons. Try a separation, permanently.

  • Well he hasn't hit me or broke anything he just yells and I'm sensitive I don't like to be yelled at I know he would never harm one of our children because I know him very well I know he needs help he had a bad life so I'd I but we take things differently I don't want to leave him because he's all I have and I'm all he has I love him to death I'm not making excuses for him I know he isn't perfect but we are trying for our relationship to make things better and we are trying to control him anger he gets it from his father I know he's a good guy I his heart I know he's been hurt and it feel like his anger is his cover for him true feelings that he's scared to show me because he doesn't want to seem soft thank you for your opinion I just don't feel in my heart that he could ever hurt me or my children he's told me several times if he ever hit me he would have to cut off his hand that he hit me with he loves me and I know he does he just needs to control his anger and show his true feelings and he's willing to work and try to make things better for us and our future

  • You need to open some honest lines of communication between him and you. I suggest "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" in my opinion one of the best books ever written about relationships. The two of you can read it together and discuss what you liked and what you didn't like about the book. It can serve as a catalyst for deeper, more meaningful discussions between the two of you and help him understand how his temper is threatening your relationship.

  • Thank you so much :)

  • You both need help. Professional help, not the kind you'll get here. Please find it soon.

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