I had no feelings for my friend at work
I had no feelings for my friend at work until I slept with him. He has a girlfriend and I'm trying to feel guilty but all I feel is crazy for him. I can't stand not knowing if he feels guilty, if he regrets it, if he is secretly turned on by me and if he still wants me...or if f****** me made him think I'm a s*** who he's no longer attracted to. That would confirmation that men just want to f*** me. And just once. Nobody I think is good enough for me ends up loving me, I get love only from weirdos and losers. I wonder why I've had o****** since age 6 and whether or not that prevents me from ever functioning as a normal sexual being. I wonder if my body has been deformed from years of masturbation, and I wonder if this physical issue is the reason men end up leaving me.