I'm already depressed for the summer
I have a birthmark on my lower back on my left hip area and every summer I have an emotional breakdown clothes shopping because I'm not perfect and flawless in a bathing suit and it's my biggest insecurity. I feel like if anyone saw it I would get made fun of and questioned about it. It makes me want to throw up thinking about it. Why can't I just look flawless like my sisters? Why did I have to get stuck with it. My parents won't let me get it removed until I'm older and it's not small so it's very difficult to cover. I tried everything. No matter what i can't fix it. I try to have the confidence to wear a bikini and not care but sadly enough last summer was the first time I wore a bathing suit comfortably around my own family. I am just an insecure teenage girl who wants to look like everyone else in a bathing suit....but no I got this f****** thing on me and I only get yelled at for making an issue about being insecure. I would rather stay inside by myself than go on the beach in front of people and show it. I get paranoid when my shirt goes up a little that someone can see it. I feel disgusting having something I was born with.