I'm already depressed for the summer

I have a birthmark on my lower back on my left hip area and every summer I have an emotional breakdown clothes shopping because I'm not perfect and flawless in a bathing suit and it's my biggest insecurity. I feel like if anyone saw it I would get made fun of and questioned about it. It makes me want to throw up thinking about it. Why can't I just look flawless like my sisters? Why did I have to get stuck with it. My parents won't let me get it removed until I'm older and it's not small so it's very difficult to cover. I tried everything. No matter what i can't fix it. I try to have the confidence to wear a bikini and not care but sadly enough last summer was the first time I wore a bathing suit comfortably around my own family. I am just an insecure teenage girl who wants to look like everyone else in a bathing suit....but no I got this f****** thing on me and I only get yelled at for making an issue about being insecure. I would rather stay inside by myself than go on the beach in front of people and show it. I get paranoid when my shirt goes up a little that someone can see it. I feel disgusting having something I was born with.

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  • Part of me wants to say "For f***'s sake, it's just a mark, chill out, no one probably notices or cares anyway," but another part of me wants to say "I understand, society teaches you if you're not perfect you're worthless and that's bullshit and I hope you figure that out someday", and a third part of wants to say "Get creative, get a tattoo that will fit in with the shape and make it look cool."

  • Trust me sweetie....as long as you are hot otherwise,guys don't give a damn. If they you...you don't need them.

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