After almost two years of treatment I cut myself at least 3 times a week (normally more.) I play it off like I don't remember when my girlfriend asks but I do. There is never anything too deep.
It gives me a rush because I work in mental health and nobody knows. I love that rush and the sting of rubbing alcohol on fresh cuts and the feeling of the healing cuts.
Even though I love all those things I would give anything to be able to stop.