I'm pregnant and don't want to be a mother

I thought I wanted to be a mother. I have no choice now as I'm in my third trimester. I don't want a baby to slow me down. Everyone is so happy about it. I'm not. I don't think I'll be a good mother but I'll try my best I guess.

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  • It's very easy for many of us here to judge or offer advice based upon their own feeling. Many I'm sure can relate to your situations as well.

    Have you considered going to see someone, such as a counselor? You said that everyone is so happy for you but you don't feel the same. I'm guessing, but it doesn't sound like you really have anyone that you can talk to. It would be very hard because you don't want the judgement.

    Counselors want to hear what's truthfully bothering you, and what you tell them stays between the both of you. You wouldn't be labeled as crazy or anything, but they do an exceptional job at helping you even understand your own emotions, organizing your jumbled thoughts and back and forth arguments that you have with yourself. There is a great opportunity for understanding for you.

    I hope all the best. A two line response or an opinion may not help you, but I hope that you will consider the benefits of being able to speak to someone and get some of this pressure off of your chest.


    26 yo father of two

  • Almost every comment here is so gross. Listen. If you don't want to be a parent you NEED to give that baby up. That is the happiest solution. Otherwise you and the baby will be unhappy for a long long tine. You have a choice. Don't let anyone guilt you out of making it yourself. I say this for you and the kid. You won't "be happier when it's here". If you aren't ready, then you aren't ready. Learn all your options. Just think of your own needs as well as the baby.

  • have you ever thought that maybe it's just a toilet baby?

  • There are some clinics or doctors who will perform 3T abortions. You just need to find one. Get that monster out of you.

  • shes right, as far as your concerned that baby really is a monster and it will kill you if you dont act first

  • Yup, you need to sweep that b**** right out of your body.

  • disgusting

  • You'll feel different about this after the baby arrives.

  • Don't be afraid to rely on friends and family for support. My sister-in-law is pregnant with her first child and I'm looking forward to taking care of my niece or nephew now and again to give her and my brother a night off. Spread that around both sides of the family and you can probably count on a least one or two nights off every week, maybe even a weekend once a month. The point is you're not alone in this, raising a child is something the whole family does.

  • Saying you don't want a baby to "slow you down" is very, very egotistical, but also exactly what I would expect from a presumably young woman these days. I have three kids, and yes, they are literally all I do every day. From 5am to 10pm, and sometimes overnight as well, I am taking care of the kids. It's not their fault. And being a full-time parent is the best thing anyone can do, even if it's not glamorous.

  • You do have options and adoption is definitely one of them. It may help to talk with someone about your fears, because they are definitely valid. A baby does change everything. But don't compare yourself to your friends. There are some people who have kids and never leave the house and others who are always on the go with their kids in tow. Yes, a baby needs a routine but you would be surprised as to how that is possible. And don't forget there is help out there..nannies, grand parents, husbands etc. You may find that when the baby actually arrives that your maternal instincts kick in and you love it. The most important decision you make will be for the child.

  • Im gonna be honest here theres a number of routes you can take heres an option be a surrogate to a family that wants a child id adoption isnt the best option best answer i can go with is have the baby dont do anything stupid, good luck

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