My "Best Friend"

So...My best friend/sister got a new boyfriend about almost 3 months ago. Let's just name him P. So apparently they're in love and he lives in another state. We're only both 14 and I think he's 15. I don't believe they're in love, but then again it's just my own opinion. My sister became obsessed with him. Within 2 weeks she had his picture framed and him as her wallpaper and she talked about him 24/7 and to him at her every free minute. She had completely replaced me from my point of view. During this time, I was experiencing a really bad point in my life. I was terribly sad and depressed 90% of the time. I had sooo much school work and tests and I was struggling to keep up my straight A's. I had experienced my first death of a close member of the family that honestly teared my insides into shreds. I started to get slight bullying on my walks home and my family life wasn't going well either. I just woke up sad, dealt with school,went to track or soccer practices, did 3 hours of homework, and came home to chores and yelling parents everyday for about 3 months. I was a wreck and I needed someone and she wasn't there. It's funny how the people who say they'll always be there leave. I'm not going to lie, I have extreme trust issues. I have 0 childhood friends left, they all moved. I really just hate trusting people, but this girl. I trusted her with my life. She was my very best friend for 3 years, there was not ONE SINGLE person above her in my life, and that includes family. All I cared about was her, someone hurt her, someone hurt me. But then things changed, I got worse and I pushed her away by not telling her things. Eventually I'd tell her, but the time it'd take me to tell her progressed longer and longer. It went from ignoring her the night it happened and telling her the next day to ignoring her about it for a week and not telling her till a week later. We stopped talking, we pushed each other away. She got closer and closer to P and I got farther and farther away from her. I went to therapy and decided that part of the reason I was so upset all the time was because I was too worried about everyone else's problems, so I blocked everyone out but family to regroup myself. This of course didn't help the situation at all. I wanted to spend as much time with my family as possible and work on my relationship with my parents because of the recent death and me realizing how limited time can really be. We barely talked and one night I got terrible, I really just wanted to run away or jump off a roof, and she was supposed to talk to me. She couldn't because P wouldn't let her off Skype. I was furious. One time she slept over and read a rant about it in my diary, we we're never the same after that. She tried to get together to work it out, but I was busy both weekends. She wrote me letters saying she'd die if she lost me as a friend and that she's so sorry and she's going to fix it.Just last night,I called her after I reread her letters over 100 times and debated my mind back and forth for 3 weeks straight. I told her I couldn't be her friend anymore, and then she said she understood and would always be here for me. 3hrs afterwards, she wrote a letter on P's timeline saying that she loved him more than anyone else she's ever met. I cannot lie, it hurt. I cried last night thinking of what a mistake I might've made, so I wrote this. I am asking you to please try and help me, Do you think I made the right decision? Because right now I feel like I was just bulldozed over and have became the new aisle for her to walk down to go marry P. Please someone help me see this situation a bit clearer.


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  • You'll grow out of it kid. Lighten up.

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  • There is no doubt that friendships change over the course of our lifetime. However, this one sounds salvageable. Your friend is just excited to have a boyfriend. And so you are currently playing second fiddle. And yes, that's not fair and you're hurt. Remember that there will be many more "Ps" in both of your lives. You're going to have other friends who have boyfriends who may not know how to balance their relationships and friendships. You will just have to learn to deal. Wait until you graduate college and they start getting married and having babies, that's fun! Call your friend and talk it out. Tell her how you're hurt and that you pushed her away. Try not give yourself a number as to how you fit or whatever in each others lives. You're both important. There's going to be a point where you will have a boyfriend and you may find that you want to talk to him all the time and have find the time to talk to your best friends. So go and find the time to meet in person and get this friendship back on track. On a second note - Does your friend know for certain that this guy P is indeed 15? Because catfishing does exist and there are a lot of people that will prey on young naive girls. So just be safe.

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