He doesn't know I have been with someone for 5 yrs and have a kid

I have been in a relationship with a guy for 5 yrs now. The past 2 years have been DEAD. It is to the point i do not want to hear his voice most of the time because it makes my skin crawl. He just told me the other day that he would "probably kill me" if I tried to leave him. Now the thing that complicates this even more is that we have a 4 year old together. I want out but have no one. And I do not know if he would or would not follow through with his threat or at least attempt to hurt me.

I have started talking to another guy. And I have fallen in love with him. He does not know about my current situation or that I have a child. I really want to be with this guy but I think he may want to have nothing to do with me if I told him. But if I do not tell him I will never know if he would have wanted to be with me despite my huge horrible lie. I know some people are going to be like "how can you love a person you have never met. maybe he lied just as much as you have" This is THE only thing I have lied to him about. He knows more about me and my past than the guy i've been with for 5 years.

Any advice? What would you do if you were in his situation and found this out?

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  • Agree with both comments below. Don't start another relationship until you end the one you're currently in. And when you start one, be honest. To start a relationship with a lie or omissions just creates a precedence of distrust. That new guy may always wonder what else you're not telling him. Sure when you leave your current bf, it's going to be challenging. You'll most likely be lonely. But you know what, loneliness won't kill you. If the choice is to be in a dead end, abusive relationship or lonely and on my own. I'll take being alone any day. Your daughter is reason enough to leave. The scariest part of this is the threat of violence. You may need outside resources to ensure your safety. The truth is the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave and the man feels he is unable to control her. There is help for you if you are being physically abused. So if you ask what I would do.. Get out of both relationships. Tell the guy the honest truth. And say, now is not the the time. In the meantime, concentrate on myself and my kid. Your daughter deserves to have a mom that doesn't jump from one man to another. Show her what you can do.

  • You should tell this guy the truth, if he loves you the way you love him he will understand and continue to support you through your separation with the current partner. If he gets scared off is he really your dream guy? You have to be confident in yourself and know that you are worth it when you start thinking like "well what if he leaves me?" That's negative, he should be happy he found you and you need to know that too. Also if your current partner is threatening your life you should go to the police to get a restraining order for not only your protection but your sons, but you do need to figure out if that's an empty threat or a reasonable one (has he been violent or aggressive with you in the past? You should know this as you've been together a long time)

  • Leave your current guy,stay alone for a while,heal up and get situated before falling into the d*** of another guy you hardly know.

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