I am a senior in high school. My group

I am a senior in high school. My group of best friends graduated last year. I have found a sophomore to hang out with who is in my drama class, and we've become very good friends, maybe even best friends. Here's the secret, which I've managed not to tell anyone at all. I don't really like her. I don't particularly enjoy her company. Her jokes are generally pretty lame, and recently I've let my guard down and started being sarcastic to her (as I normally am) rather than unconditionally nice as I was to lure her into friendship. I don't know why I'm doing this. She's my only friend in the school. She sits with her own class at lunch and I sit alone--my choice, I'm pretty sure, but other than that we're known as good friends. I'm generally perfectly nice to her--I realized recently that I'm like the mother in D.H. Lawrence's The Rocking Horse Winner, who can't love her children and has a hard stone place in her heart, but compensates for it by treating them nicely and being anxious for their well-being.
I haven't told a single person I know, but I wanted to get this out before I start doing that horifically annoying "I have a secret but I won't tell you what it is" thing. I realize that if anyone I know reads this, they'll know who I am, but I'm reasonably certain that that's unlikely.
I realize there are comments, so here are my questions:
Am I holding her back by stopping her from getting a friend who likes her, or am I providing a useful friendship that will naturally end next year anyway, when I graduate?
Am I a bad person?
Why the h*** am I doing this?

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  • who the h*** is bonnie&clyde and why did he/she post an autobiography?

  • come on if you think about it all i ever did was come on this site to make fun of people and sign my signature, i never asked anyone for attention you f****** dumasses fell for my comments,if you really want me to stop and leave why do u all comment back on my comments???it only postpones my retirement to this site and you can all thank that lady who f***** her dog for getting me on here,my friend told me about this site to rag on that b**** and look what my visit turned into, all you have to do to get me to leave is to shut the f*** up ,you dumasses,but you know like you people said im just a dumass so i wont be able to understand your resond comments and to the sicology major i know that you are going to say something about me saying shut the f*** up,like im getting annoyed or something and come on i am getting aliitle annoyed because i only want to rag on people not have to talk to retards like you, and now you are guna say something about me getting annoyed,but now that i said that you arent and you are guna find something else to say about this comment or something about bonnie,so please man just dont say anything becasue i know what ur guna say so there is no point in saying it, like something stupid about manboobs, coke,or doritos it doesnt really matter because i go home to get p**** and i have a good job with a family so i dont need a f***** like you telling me what i know ur guna say.you are going to tell me that you have a better life then me and describe it and im guna cus u out and we are guna go on for months so im asking please shutup cus we think alike we know what the other is guna say and i know now your guna make fun of this hole thing so lets hear the bs...
    ***bonnie&clyde***

  • finally! one real comment! i am happy now. oh well, college in two months, right?

  • As if f*** face, the f****** f***** who posted this confession should go kill urself after all 17% of people attemp suicide each year so y the f*** would anyone care if ur in it!f***** h***!

  • "am I holding her back" -don't try to justify your guilt over wanting to dump her. I'm sure she isn't dependent on you, and will survive just fine if you move on to other things. Don't worry about it so much. You sound like you're obsessing over what you feel is a lack of friends. Get out and do more stuff, be friendly with everyone. Be yourself and work on feeling more independent and everything will fall into place with time.

  • who?

  • Hahaha, I say you go kill yourself,

  • f****** f***** ass b****,i didnt read it just wanted to say that, but i see the word dork and girl so you must be a f****** f** or something so f*** you b****
    ***be real b*********

  • LOL, i was expecting that last comment to end with "be real, b******." such helpful people on the internets.

  • yes, you are a dork. Leave her alone or at least be nice to her till you graduate than climb under a rock.Dork

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