Losing my virginity

I was 25 and just tired of being a virgin. I was shy, had a hard time approaching women for dates let alone progressing to s**. This friend had been flirting with me for years and I knew had a fantasy about dating and perhaps marrying me but there was no attraction to me at all. She was a good friend to hang out with.

We are at a house party one weekend she is hosting with a large group of friends, drinking and getting high and when it's time to crash I find myself in her room laying on the bed talking and in a rush of horniness I come on to her ended up giving her oral s** and when she reached a huge vocal o***** and yelled out my name I just mounted her and rode the waves to my own o***** finishing inside of her. (I knew she was on the pill)

We talked a little about it the next morning as it was clear to her that this was me wanting a serious relationship. She told me the was was absolutely amazing. But I was freaking out. While I liked the idea of s** and made sure she had a great experience and I was somewhat amazed at what happened. this wasn't the same turn on for me and my o***** was not earth shattering and she did nothing to reciprocate to make it so and physically she wasn't attractive to me. In the heat of it it was l*** but the thought afterwards was that it was like s******* my sister. I never brought it up again or changed or diverted the subject if it came up. Oddly the friendship continued for years afterward.

I know I messed with her and I'm sorry for that but it did set me free and a few months later this gorgeous woman came on to me and we ended up in a two year relationship that was mostly hot s** and companionship. She wanted s** all the time and I was happy to comply. The weird part was us visiting this friend for the weekend and having hot loud s** within ear shot of this friend. I know that was unkind but my b**** were leading not my brain.

She ended up dying years later in an accident with her then partner.

Jun 18, 2014

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