Wow the hate i have for you is beyond

Wow the hate i have for you is beyond. I trusted you so much,i looked up to you. When my parents weren't there you were the only one there. And you had to take advantage of it all. I was 10 how could you have found that attractive,your own niece?!
I finally started coping from that,I let my guard down and let you in, gah I hate myself so much for letting you in. You didn't have to take advantage of me the way you did if you just waited I would of given you my virginity,but you couldn't wait you had to hold me down and take any security I had.I'm terrified to be in the dark, I have night mares of both of you. I can't go to other peoples houses because I'm scared I'll have a night mare and start screaming. I've tried to do whatever I can to forget about it and nothing works,I've taken every drug to numb it and it doesn't go away. I sometimes tell myself I shouldn't let them affect my life this way,but i dont know what the heck to do. How can I love anyone now, both these men I loved. How can i trust men now. Maybe I should become a lesbian. i know that sounds ridiculous but maybe... I dont know just maybe.

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  • Becoming a lesbian will not solve your problems. What will is talking to the POLICE! I understand how hard it can be to deal with sexual assualt, especially by someone close to you, but seriously, turn the b****** in! Would you want another young girl to go through what you did? If that is out of the question, at least talk to a counselor or someone who can help you to get past this horrible experience. Your life is worth saving, so please get help now!

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