When using public toilets, I routinely
When using public toilets, I routinely try to not touch the toilet seat. One time, at Polar Ice in Chandler Arizona when I was living there at the time, I had a "BAD" case of diarrehea. I didn't want to sit on the seat, so, as usual, I hovered my ass over the seat, about 6"+ over it. To my surprise, I totally blew up the bathroom. I proceeded to EXPLODE crap all over the seat, the back, the wall and the floor. I seriously tried to clean it up, but man, it was way too much to wipe it up with toilet paper, or even paper towels. I swear, it looked like a choclate making factory had just exploded. I felt really horrible, especially for the person who ended up having to clean it up, whomever that ended up being. Personally, had I been the maintenance dude, I am not kidding, I would have just gotten a power sprayer and sprayed it all down, it was that bad....man...... but I have never, ever laughed so hard in my life.....I couldn't help it man.... and some women complain that men fail to lift the seat when taking a p***...... This incident gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "I missed". LOL!!