Please I need Advice

I need your advice ...
I join chat groups and have no problem meeting men and woman on line but as soon as they ask me for a picture of myself and I send them they stop talking to me either right away or soon after . Yes men and woman have done this ..

I'm not looking for s** just friendship so why would my looks cause someone to stop taking to me . I notice this when a few people ask me for a picture of myself . I am thinking they did not find me attractive but again we were chatting about life then it stops . Never hear from them again .

So my question is .. If u ask someone a picture of them and u found them not attractive would u stop talking to them even tho your not looking for s**?

Please do not leave mean comments as I am very senstive woman in her late 40's . It's not just woman but men stop talking to me after I send them my picture .

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  • It's happened to me too. I'm a guy not in my early 40's. Back in my 30's and 20's after sending my photo (only to talk not to hook up) sometimes the girls/women would stop talking to me. A lot of people are shallow and as already mentioned even if they don't admit it they are only looking for one thing. Send me an email if u like and we can chat junglewhispers AT yahoo DOT com. I honestly am NOT looking to hook up and am not shallow and judgemental.

  • ^ that should real *now* in my early 40's but mistyped as *not*

  • The reason for your problem, I'm sorry to say, is that while many people in chat rooms or search sites say they aren't interested in connecting with you for s**, the vast vast majority are lying about that simple fact and are actually ONLY interested in a quick hookup. Were it otherwise, they wouldn't ask for a photo. Perhaps that sounds too cynical, but I've lived long enough to understand some things about human beings and human nature, and this is one of those things. And even some of those who really aren't actively seeking a sexual connection are so affected by image that they can't help but be influenced by appearance in assessing things like intellect, sophistication and general appeal. This will sound like one of those many things that are easier to say than to do, but it's still true: don't allow your image of yourself to be affected or even impacted by the shallow depths of those you reach out to online. I'm afraid it's necessary to develop either a thicker skin or a willingness to forgive. I wish the news was better, but the failure factor online is so high as to be nearly insurmountable unless you have exceptional patience. Just know that the problem doesn't lie with you: you seem like a really well-adjusted, open-minded and open-hearted person, so please don't allow thoughtless rudeness to affect any of that. Be well.

  • Hi , thank you for taking the time to add your point of view . you made some real good points .
    I now will look at things a different way , you helped me big time !!

  • Hi I am the one who wrote this post ... thank you for writing to me . To answer your question
    The people I talk to are people around my age group , in there late
    40's . No teens
    I know I am not that bad looking but dang why would my looks matter if
    where only chatting on line .

    I don't want to put a fake picture up of myself because that would make
    me be a fake person and that is the last thing I want to do .

    I almost hate being friends with anyone because everyone wants a picture
    of who they are talking to .

    I just don't get it

  • It probably has more to do with who they really are than what you look like or who you are. You are being honest and they may not be. Don't read too much into it. In some ways, be thankful that you see their true colors now instead of after you invested so much time in to a friendship that wasn't worthy of your time.

  • No I wouldn't. Maybe they are young, teenagers, and when they realized you weren't a teen they could have been taken by surprise.

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