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This Time, Maybe.
I feel so empty, a lot of the time.
I stare into space every day with increasing veracity and I worry about myself in a detached sort of way.
My inner world seems a bit crumbled and broken, like stale bread.
Every once in a while, something "good" happens, and breaks up the tediousness, but mainly it's a vortex of darkness.
I know exactly what you mean. Too much had already weighed on me for too long prior to the last several years, during which time I lost both my parents, two aunts, my uncle, and the only three friends who ever accepted me unconditionally. Suddenly, my sexual desires are skewed and I don't think I feel empathy any more. I don't feel much of anything besides anger, emptiness, loneliness..........I won't commit suicide but I hope every day for THE END. I'm worried about the person lurking in the shadows.
I completely forgot that I even wrote this, but since then I have survived a suicide attempt.