Pretty Damaged !!

I understand that people have fantasies, but what I have I feel is more towards pervert than fantasy. As a kid I was introduced to s** at a very early age (3th or 4th Grade) by my elder brother, started out harmless where he would show me magazines and pictures of women in bikinis. Then it got physical I am not sure how it started but I do remember sucking his c*** and him c****** in my mouth, and some nights he would suck me off. At the time I really didn’t know what was going on, and since my mom was away that year it was just me him and my dad. So you can say I had no one to talk to around the house other than him. As time progressed it started more often and would happen almost every night and you can say I started enjoying it. When my mom returned with my sister the summer of that year I noticed myself staring at her b****** all the time and at night whenever I got a chance and she wasn’t wearing a bra I would cuddle and hug her to feel her b**** against my face, of course she though it was all innocent. Also peaked at her nipple every chance I got. I felt myself changing and desperation started to take over, started steeling her panties and jerking off in them, while at night the story with my brother continued. My brother and I never really had intercourse, he did try once without any kind of lubrication and I remember telling him to stop because it started to hurt. Eventually my sister grew up, but I never had the courage to do what my brother did to me to her because I had grown up and started understanding and seeing things clearer. But that didn’t stop me from going in her drawer and stealing her panties. This is the first time I am able to talk about this, now that I am 24 finishing engineering school. I have had a few girlfriends and a lot of s**. But I don’t find it full filling. I have so many different fantasies but have acted on very few. The basic ones B******* A*** s** But my fantasies go beyond that and not limited to girls. I find myself jerking off to Gay p*** Tranny p*** Bi MMF (one of the favorites) Bi MFF I recently started logging on to chat site and trying to find older women that would be willing or be interested in younger men. I feel like there nothing I wouldn't do. Recently I went on omegle wearing my girlfriend’s panties. I really want to talk to people that have the same urges I do. I feel so stressed and sometimes even depressed. It’s one thing to be addicted to s** but a totally different thing to be thinking about all this while having s**… I used to be in perfect shape but now I have let myself go for the past 3 years. I don’t find myself at easy or happy with myself at all. I am also a very shy person it’s very hard for me to say what I really want. Anyways if anyone wants to get in touch leave a comment.

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