I hate my step daughters

I can't stand my adult step daughters 43 & 37....as they are jealous of my kids and refer to them as cousins,can't acknowledge anything good or bad that happens to us, and are mean to their father and talk s*** about him to his family. They want gifts, money, and to be treated as equals to our own kids. They overtly disapprove of our life, having kids in our 40's, even vacations. We act sorta pleasant outwardly but an idiot would know how we all feel. i.e. one who lives an hour away hasn't been invited to our home in over 2 years. Their mom is mentally ill and they are both bi polar as an added bonus acting mean never apologizing ever and then pretending it is all good! So we pretend back that it is all good. It is so crazy and dysfunctional.My husband and I have both been to therapy to cope with it but the conclusion is a family blow out is not good for us so we just get passive. If their father dies before me I will never speak to them again.

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  • Oh I forgot to say that one is a heroine addict and the other is always drunk, both in and out of Jail or rehab.....and their Father & I has spent 15 years trying to help them and they have rejected getting healthy. But thanks for your thoughts, no doubt we will keep trying, but I will still have negative feelings.

  • They probably can't stand you too. But truthfully, you all sound pretty immature and pathetic. They have a mental illness they can blame for part of their behavior.. not sure what yours is. And their father sounds like piece of work too. Just a sperm donor who skirts his responsibilities for the welfare of his own kids. They are still his children, regardless of their age and regardless of if he is still involved with their mother. He will ALWAYS be their father. Lady, you married into a family where there were children. They were there first. And why wouldn't or shouldn't they be treated equally??? Why are YOU playing favorites? Why is that such a difficult concept for you to understand? Like they are second class citizens? Again you married a man with children..you are an idiot. It's called a blended family. But you realize you are the main reason for this family not becoming united, because you continue to undermine it. By keeping them separate and excluded, when they should be included. For holidays and birthdays..if you give your kids $100. Your step daughters should get $100. And maybe it should just be all the kids. You say you try, but really it's them vs. You. You need to grow the f*** up. It's called a family and if you treat them with kindness and not resentment, you may get somewhere. Maybe when you go to therapy, instead of coping..maybe you should tell the therapist exactly how you treat them as inferior to you. And maybe you should get a book on how to be a better step parent or how to be a parent, because you're failing. You really should be ashamed. A bigger question..why isn't their dad doing anything proactive. They are looking for reassurance from HIM..not you. They could give two s**** about you..look at how you treat them. Don't sit there thinking you are some sort of innocent person in the mix. You are equally responsible for the f***** up relationship you all have. Stop whining and put a plan in motion to fix it.

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