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I might need help but then....its so freakin hot!

So. ....I'm 19 years old and....not to go into massive detail, I was abused as a kid. Iv got over it and I'm not a victim or anything but like. I want to ** all the wrong people. It started when I was 16 (I ran away from home) and I moved in with my uncle. I want to ** him. Iv seen his huge **. I mean it's not the eiffle tower but it's pretty big and my aunt never makes him **. I can hear them having ** in the next room and just as he's getting Into it she freaks out and makes him stop. He gets frustrated and goes to the bathroom and I'm lying there, fingers dripping from how wet listening to them makes me and all I want to do is go in the bathroom and ride him till he ** deep in my **. and that's not even the half of it. My dad that used to hit me all the time....He works in a factory with all these disgusting fat sweaty men and I fantasise about him taking me there....and letting them all ** me one after the other. Again and again, slapping me about and calling me a **. The worst thing is I think it might happen because last week I went to visit my brother who still lives with him and I sucked his **. My own dad's **. It was so **. I sucked it for lime 20 mins and then he came on my face. He looked confused after cos like....I could get him arrested. I just ran out the house and he keeps texting me bit now I'm going to go back and I'm gonna ** him and I don't even care. I'm gonna let him ** me over and over. If I can't ** my uncle I might as well ** my dad. How do I stop wanting him to do it?

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