I am engaged and my two best friends

I am engaged and my two best friends are (straight) males, which my soon-to-be husband is not, and has never been, comfortable with. I've talked with various friends and asked for advice on keeping my guy friends while maintaining a relationship with my fiance, but everyone seems to think that married women shouldn't hang out with other guys and I don't see how that's a problem when we have no feelings for each other... input?

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  • I agree with your husband. I would not be okay with my man having female friends, and he would not be ok with me having guy friends. If the friendships are that important, then don't get married. It is a tough decision, but you can't have both!

  • The third commenter is right. You can say we are just friends all you want but when d**** get hard it's hard to control. And not just men but women too. Sometimes all it takes is that one trigger and your feelings are different. That one fight with your husband and before you know it your best friend is now your new p**** licker. You don't have to end your friendships, but they do have to change drastically. After all nothing in life stays the same.

  • ^^it's nice to trust,, but men in particular have instincts.....sexual instincts...I don't care who or where his heart lies, if he gets a h******, he's going to F*** whoever is right in front of him.... Bottom line, there is no ROOM for friends of the opposite s**....it's dangerous and damaging to your relationship! I know, my wife has 3 male friends, and when they get together, there's nothing but sexual innuendos and flirting going on,,, it p***** me OFF!

  • I do think you have to be careful not to hurt your fiance in anyway, however, his feelings on the situation aren't entirely your responsiblitiy. If he is marrying you, that should mean he trusts you completely, 100%. If this were the case, what does it matter who you are friends with? My bf has a few close girl friends, all but one of which he met before he met me. He rarely sees them but I would never stop him visiting them, or them us. I trust him not to cheat on me and believe him when he says he doesn't have feelings for them.

    For me, I sometimes get insecure about his having straight female friends but it is not down to a lack of trust in him, but a lack of confidence in myself. Perhaps it is the same with your fiance?

    Either way, bear your partners feelings in mind and make an effort to keep your relationship strong, but don't sacrifice your friendships either! These people are important to you too and he should respect that.

  • Idealy it wouldn't be a problem. The real problem is that your fiance has a problem with it. I don't think you should hang out with them like girlfriends but you can still talk on the phone and hold conversations. See the problems with that is when girls go drinking a guy doesn't care or have any problems because he doesn't mind if you sleep with a girlfriend. He may like that. But the chance that you could mess with another man makes him crazy.

    I know they are just your friends and you don't have any attraction to them, I understand. But you have to put your fiance ahead of your friends because in the end your fiance is the one who's going to be there. Your guy friends are going to find women and go on with their lives. And if you let them run your fiance away you'll be the one alone or unhappy with someone else.

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