What have I done?

I had an affair with a man who I know from work. It wasn't innocent and I knew it was wrong at the time. It was just such a feeling to be desired by someone after years of being taken for granted by my husband. That and after two kids I was having self esteem body issues and was becoming depressed by it all.
It was pretty torrid between the two of us. During lunch breaks, right after work, early mornings for two months. Mostly at his home but also in public places. I did things I would never do or have done with my husband even before we were married. I knew it was wrong and so I went to break it off with him.
He told me I couldn't stop seeing him. That if I did my husband might find out. He also said he had used his spy cam to record us at his place a few times. I was stunned and felt like I was going to vomit. He told me he expected me to be at his place after work that day.
Foolishly, I went ahead and met him at his place again that day. This time it was for oral s** only and he openly took photos of me doing it which makes me believe he didn't record it previously but now I was really trapped because I know he has photos.
Since January I have been back three more times at his demand and the last time he had a friend of his there as well. And yes, it was what you are thinking.
I don't know what to do. I can't have my husband find out, it would ruin our marriage and I can't lose my kids but I can't just keep doing this and things are now way out of control.

4 Comments

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  • Tell him you've fallen for him and will leave your husband for him. Ain't nothing gonna make him run away faster

  • You said you have body issues, yet you got naked with a stranger and sexual acts with him that you have never done, with your husband. You clearly enjoyed this, as you kept going back and did sexual acts on two strangers. You clearly enjoy being f*****, so stop whining and get on with it but give your husband some of dirty side and make him happy. If not you get what you deserve

  • Whoa! You already know youre in trouble so I wont bother with that. What I will say is that you cant keep doing it. Its only going to get worse and just because you cater to his whims doesn't mean he wont tell your husband anyway or that someone else wont tell him. Youre going to have to tell him yourself. TRust me, it will be the harders thing you've ever done but men CAN find it in their hearts to forgive you. But youll have to work through it for some time.

  • Why stop...? Just keep it a secret and keep going.. be dirty and be a good girl and please them as they wish...

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