Stay or Go? HELP

I've been married for 7 1/2 years. It's been a wonderful and happy marriage until about 6 months ago. My husband started i.v. Use of heavy illicit drugs and stopped being the man and father he was. All intimacy stopped, all bills fell behind, he didn't spend time with myself or 2 children anymore, and we began fighting daily. When i realized what the problem was and how bad it was, I begged him to stop and get help. I tried really hard to keep things together by myself while trying to help him but since he has been my best friend all these years, I had a hard time coping. During this time I reconnected with an old friend from school. He has went out of his way the last few weeks to make my life easier and better. He's paid bills, helped out, gave advice , listened to me cry and b****, and stood by me as I kicked my husband out and then let him back in. All we have been so far is best friends but he came here tonight drunk and told me he loves me. I don't know what to do because I love my husband and can't see letting him go but I think I love my friend as well and can't imagine being without him. I know keeping them both isn't an option and wouldn't be fair to anyone...... So what do I do?

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  • Been there done that, my ex was in a car accident and was prescribed oxy - I now think hes's satan. 10 years ago he was a good dad now he'd sell his kid for a fix.

    I'm gonna give it to you straight:

    Husband no good - leave

    Guy #2 - no good - leave (if he'll sleep with you while your with your husband he will throw it in your face later).

    Get assistance, apply for housing if you need it & start fresh!

  • It is time to get a divorce from the husband. Be strong. You will get through this tough time. Once you do, you will be thankful that you left him.

  • What a crap situation. My heart goes out to you. I can not advise but all I can do is pray for you. Good luck.

  • You already know what you should do, that's why you're posting. Here's the thing.. you're codependent. You need to think with your head and not your heart. It won't be easy to do it on your own, but it's not fair to anyone for you to jump from one soft place to another. You have little kids that will see and learn from that behavior. I find it hard to believe that your husband just out of the blue started to use IV drugs. There has to have been some event that prompted harder drug use or he's been using for awhile and you turned a blind eye to it. Addiction is a disease. Letting him live with you and the children enables him to use. He needs to be out until he is clean. Stand firm. You most likely will have to get a job to make ends meet. As for you reaching out to an old classmate..just so interesting the timing of this..Think you have somethings to look at for your conduct in this, because you're just creating more problems for yourself. If that guy wants to help you and give you money..that's very nice of him just as long as you don't "owe" him anything. He clearly had another agenda. But your decision does not just affect you. You're not alone and you're not single. You have two children that do not need some other man replacing their father right now. Your "best friend" is clearly rebound because you don't think you can it on your own and you're teaching your kids that. Life is hard, it absolutely sucks that this is happening to you. But don't compound it by bringing someone else into your relationship. Jumping from one relationship to another won't heal anything..it just creates a bigger wound. It's time to put your big girl pants on and deal with one issue before creating another issue.

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