For now I can pretend you love me too

I'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend. I've been out as a lesbian for only 3 years and I've fallen in love twice. Amberley (the girlfriend) is absolutely stunning, sweet, thoughtful, funny, strong and an amazing friend. She knows I love her as does her girlfriend but I can't help it, I think about her all the time and as strange as it is, I can't fall asleep easy without talking to her. She liked me at one point but then an hour later she said she could never love me and three days after I asked her out and she said no, she asked out my best friend and they're now together. I'm happy for Amberley just because she's happy but I want to die when I see her with my friend. I want to carve her name over my heart again until the scars are perminant and cut her initials next to Sam's (the girl I first fell in love with) up my forearm. But she told me not to and I made my friend a promise not to cut anymore... All of this and I'm only 15

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  • Honey, I'm not trying to be condescending when I tell you this, but I promise you you'll get over her. I'm twenty so I remember vividly being fifteen.
    I remember cutting over the first boy I fell in love with, who of course broke my heart when he slept with my best friend. I remember realizing that I wasn't upset because of the guy had s** with another girl, but because my best friend had s** with someone else. Of course I only realized about three years later that I'm bi and I was definitely in love with my high school best friend.
    What I'm trying to get at is, if you can survive the crazy hormonal heartbreaks and such that are going on with you right now, you'll be fine and you'll grow strong.
    Don't cut yourself for anyone because they're not worth your blood, the scars, or possibly your life if you cut too deep-trust me.
    I wish you the best. <3

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