I have a huge lesbian crush on my friend
I'm a 16 year old girl. And I have a huge crush on my friend who is also a girl, but she straight, has a boyfriend, and doesn't know I'm lesbian. She is absolutely beautiful inside and out. I love the way she makes me feel, I feel so special when I'm with her even when were not talking. She knows how to make me laugh. She's so popular and smart and cute. Some things she says make me so mad T feel like yelling. But at the same time I want her around me all the time. Her smile alone can make my day. Making her happy is the best part of my day. I think about her all the time. I always buy her stuff because I love making her happy, she gets me stuff too. I can pretty much talk to her about anything.
But is this real love if she doesn't even know I'm lesbian and love her?? I've never even dated or came out to anyone besides my best friend because I'm not allowed. (I could've had so many "boyfriends" because I'm popular) And it sucks because she'll never love me back that way because she straight. Should I tell her I love her any ways?? I really want to. And I can't stop loving her.