Regarding my boyfriend

When it is someone's birthday on facebook...

When one of our family members or friends gets married,
has a birthday,
experiences a death,
has a child...

I buy a present and put our name on it.

Sometimes I send texts from your phone congratulating or consoling them.

I do this because I love you. You aren't empathetic, but I know if you understood how much it meant to others you would do it. I know that you're a good person.

I also worry about when we break up. Will I still send presents for you?

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  • Not empathetic? Is he a sociopath or narcissistic? If he's this way with his friends, how is he with you? If he's not empathetic now, he probably has never been and never will be. And you're saying "when we break up.." So you are with him now because? This all sounds so painful. You are very kind and thoughtful, but sending presents in the future should be left to someone else.

  • First dont try to be empathetic for him. That is degrading, disempowering, humiliating and just reminds him off his shortcomings.

    Tell him you love him.
    Send presents etc.
    Occasionally say to him that somone is feeling down or sick and they might appreciate a visit or a text. Note I said might because sometimes you may be overly empathetic.

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