I want to be dominated by an experienced man
Apologies for the length, need to write this s*** down..
I'm an 18 year old female and have been
with my current and first 'serious' boyfriend for just over a year now. People kind of assume he's the strong, domineering type when they see us together (I'm 5'2; he's 6'5 and very athletic)- and in a lot of ways he does come off as the typical alpha male with his guy friends - but with me, the reality is that he's more sweet and considerate than anything else. I do care about him, and I know he loves me alotttt, but sometimes I feel as though he isn't sexually rough, blunt or aggressive enough for me, and that he's too smitten with me to give me what I want in bed. He's expressed to me that he likes the idea of me 'owning' him and using him as a s** slave, which I've done for him and I'm happy to continue doing to satisfy his wants.. but sometimes I wish he'd take more of a lead and just F*** me raw and hard without asking for permission or my opinion or how i want him or how i'm feeling every minute!
Let me clear this up, I'm not into 'bad boys' or any of that immature, cliché s***.. A lot of those kinds of guys have been attracted to me in the past and I've never been interested. Equally, I hate clingy, emotional, pushover guys who don't challenge me and instead accept everything without question. I just want a man who genuinely stimulates me, and who's balanced, possessive and experienced enough to respect and love me, but also put me in my place and have his way with me whenever I cross the line. I love being pinned down and spanked and punished and bent over and f*****, and I've told my boyfriend this, but he just isn't the kind of guy who can do it without inhibitions, he's afraid he'll hurt me. And it ruins the enjoyment for me. Even when I try and urge him to talk filthy to me as I ride him he can't deliver. I have pretty kinky taste in the bedroom but the fact that he makes these simple things so difficult makes me embarrassed to discuss anything kinkier with him..
I'm incredibly forward, assertive and bossy lol, so in some respect it's kind of my fault since I've pretty much claimed the 'dominant' role elsewhere in our relationship, but I still can't help feeling like I need a mature and experienced guy to pin me down and pound me to o***** till im moaning for him and c****** all over his c***... and I feel bad, because it gets me thinking about being with other guys, even though I care for my boyfriend and would never cheat.