Tired of being a virgin >:(
I'm almost 20, still a virgin, still never had a boyfriend, though I did technically but that was for a month and it was okay but I dont really count it because I was sad during the whole relationship, and lately I've just been super super h****. I just want to have really good rough s**, neck kisses, pin me down, blindfold me, whatever. I dont even know if I'd like that but it's what turns me on. I just really need s** lately but at the same time I dont want to just go out and f*** someone I barely know or pick to be my fuckbuddy. I want it to be the typical "special someone", not necessarily a boyfriend or someone like that, but someone that's just a good friend I suppose. Maybe someone that could lead to a relationship but if it didnt we would just be actual friends with benefits. Not the "FWB but really we're just f*** buds and don't really like doing anything else with each other".
I know it's not a big deal to still be a virgin at 20 but with all my friends already losing their virginities or being sexual, I've only had one kiss and held hands at the very most sadly, but it's just extremely annoying to me now-a-days when friends talk about their relationships or need s** advice (which is really just common sense advice just put into s**. i.e. i want him to do this, then ask or edge him to try blah blah blah) I'm usually just left with "welp I had a nice time with Netflix."
TLDR; I just really need to lose my virginity already so I can stop wondering, I think I have a really strong libido because I'm h**** almost all the time, BUT I don't want to just do it with anyone I want it to be with someone who respects me and I'm attracted to (and who is hopefully attracted to me as well as more than just "someone to f***") :/