Not being able to call him mine

As I think of you, I often wonder what it would be like to fall in love with someone like you
I lay here, constantly seeing you appear on my screen
but to whom would it matter?
having as many fans as you do, I couldn't stand out
I'm just a fan, your support, your money source
that's all
you're thousands of miles away, unaware of my existence
would it be bothersome?
would it be a life changing experience just being with you?
we'll never have the chance to know each other
to be so incredibly infatuated with each other
gazing into your eyes, feeling butterflies
to recognize that feeling, commonly described as love
knowing I'll never be able to hug you, comfort you
realizing I'll never have the chance to kiss you, embrace you
having these feelings
the pain can be unreal
knowing I'll never, ever
have the chance to love you.

but I'll wait
and if I get over you, I suppose it's not a bad thing
though I'll continue to support you until that happens
and never know what could have been

but after all
I'm just a fan
and that's all I'll ever be

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