Forced

I hate myself . I can't find anything I like about how I am . People around me parade me for being such a good person but no one knows how much I hate being apart of this world. I feel like I'm stuck in a relationship , I try everyday to let go of. I pick fights all the time with my boyfriend so he can leave me but no matter what I do or say he won't leave me alone. His idea of working things out is the silent treatment , I've even f***** other guys so he can leave me and he won't. Idk if it's because he truly loves me or just doesn't have a choice of finding another place to live. I'm stuck in this world where I do desperately wanna leave.

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