Crying over chopped onions

I confess that I put onions in every meal. Y? It gives me a chance to cry each day and let some of the pain out. My husband is v ill and since we've got married all our hopes and dreams have changed. Instead of hoping for dream holidays or to see our kids grow up we're now hoping he lives longer than 5 years. Those onions r my release and don't let him know I'm crying out of disappointment for the injustice that life has served us.