** fantasy getting out of control

I used to have ** fantasy as a child but with someone i really liked and its started again. i so want this guy i love to leave his wife and son and ** me and i want to hit him and really have an all and all out brawling ** with him and I dont know why i feel this way. i feel dirty, stupid and weak and childish and he is way out of my league and yet i want him to force himself on me and i want to hit him around and ** wildly. is this normal? he has stirred me up so much i just need to let it out. I desperately want to ** him I desperately want him to ** me forever. and leave his ** wife. i dont even know why i dont like her when i dont even know her i barely know him. he might be a complete **. i dont know what has made these feelings come up. i just want to ** wild - ** it out not just fight it out but ** it out between me and him. i dont know why i feel this way. i just want to be ** madly by him. i actually love him and i feel bad feeling this way because he is a married and a professional and we are opposites and probably have nothing incomon other then he is a ** and i am a **. and i want his ** in me badly. i am stupid looking for trouble. i love him i keep saying sorry to him. i hope he wont kill me.

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