Just another love story
I am in love with this guy who works at the place where i made my internship. I am so f****** in love with him, it's the first time i have ever been in love with anybody and i can't eat and can't stop thinking about him. Problem is, he has a girlfriend and i would NEVER be able to destroy something like a relationship. but he is just so NICE, he is so polite and he laughs in an adorable way and he has small hands which i only find beautiful in HIM and i can't stop thinking about scenarios where i am lying with him in bed, or where we are going on vacation, to a party, meet his friends or mine. and he really likes me, that's the worst part. he really likes me and would love to spend time with me and that's just makes it even worse because i don't know what to do?! I just want to see him A LOT and get to know ALL of him, I want to know his favourite childhood memories, why he likes certain types of food, i even think about how i would love to argue with him because there would be nothing better than reconciling with a person like him. it's pathetic and i can't control it and i KNOW he will find out and then it will be awkward and it will destroy everything. I know how I react if people whom i don't love confess their love to me - if he would react as cold as i do, or worse, with PITY and understanding, i would be devastated!
But i don't know what to do... my internship ended and now there are no set dates on which we will automatically see each other. How many times is it normal to want to see a person whom you aren't in love with? How many stupid messages can one send before it becomes awkard? GOD i hate it, i hate it, but it's the best thing that happened to me in a looong time.