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What's wrong with me?
I'm not happy. I haven't been happy and I don't know when I will be and it's starting to show. It's almost like my depression is leaking out of me and pushing away everybody I love. They keep saying I'm too depressing to talk to or that they don't even know why they try anymore. The problem is that I can't even tell when I'm being this way. I'm trying. I'm trying so ** hard for everybody but I don't know what's wrong. Everybody tells me that the way I'm acting is wrong. How am I acting? What's so wrong with it? What's so wrong with feeling this way when it's a part of who I am?
See a psychiatrist or a therapist. It might help.
I have similar frustrations. Wanna chat.