Acting all the time

I did not love my ex at all. but i acted like i was crazy about him just for fun but then he fell in love with the mere illusion i created. and for the following two months i kept waiting for him to dump me because i suddenly lost interest in him and did not want to waste my time anymore. i felt so terrible about that and hate myself because i just cannot stop doing this to the people around me. i hope someone could help me out because i am too tired to see people get hurt because of my shaming desire to manipulate them.

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