I want my daughter out
It must be the worst crime in famly life to dislike your child. I have three kids, two of whom are, on the whole, darlings. My 25 year old daughter, however, is frankly unbearable. She is rude, selfish, self-centred and a monumental s*** stirrer. Her most hateful habit is to rant to me or my wife then, when we respond rationally starts crying and having a tantrum. One example today: it is my son's birthday and he wants to go to his favourite restaurant with the whole family - famiy birthday dinner outings being something he just loves. Daughter started ranting that she hates it there and wants to go elsewhere. When I pointed out that it is Joe's birthday and therefore his choice (the same privilege given to her on her birthday)' I garnered a stream of abuse, tears foot stomping (seriously) and a refusal to go. My son (12) was devastated, so said he would go where she wanted. I said no way...more abuse. Apparently both me and son are selfish pigs.
Perhaps more seriously is that she deliberately comes between me and my wife, playing us off one another to gain her way, often manipulating stories for her benefit. I will discover on a regular basis things I have done, or not done, causing my wife and I to lock horns. Invariably the story being altered substantially (or totally). An instance: I received a bollocking from my wife because i refused to give daughter a lift to work couple of weeks ago, and she had to walk in the rain, getting soaked and chilled. On checking, on the day in question I had an appointment for an outpatient procedure and had to leave home early. Daughter was informed well in advance. Cue abuse etc. (Note again the fact that I am ill and need to see the doc is irrelevant.) This despite the fact that, although I give her a lift daily with no thanks, my inability to chauffeur her to work on one day was unacceptable. Oh, and that day was actually a gorgeous late summer morning. Her work is only 20 mins walk away...
Recently we have had a huge reduction in our family income owing to illness. My daughter's response? To stop contributing to the household financially (she works full time in a well paid job) because we know longer can afford the fancy foods etc that she deems her right. So why should she pay for anything? She always hated having to contribute, 'forgetting' regularly even though the amount was a pitifully small fraction of her income.
I could go on, almost indefinitely, but you get my point I'm sure. Now I'm aware that children are universally self-centred, but I suggest that an adult of 25 shouldn't be acting like the most extreme hormone-ridden adolescent. I still love my daughter, but the day she gets the h*** out of my life to her own place will be a happy day indeed. Yet I can't help wondering what will become of her when she realises that, in fact, she isn't the centre of the universe. I seriously think that what has happened in the last couple of decades in families, with children treated in many cases like royalty has gone too far. We treat our kids like wondrous gifts (rightly, natch) who need to be cosseted, pampered and privileged. But what happens when the result is the likes of my daughter? It is no preparation for life, or for bing a well-adjusted adult. You live and learn. Often too late.