I am in love with my "to be" niece in law
Please someone talk to me about this without being some perv who's gonna say "Go for it." Or "I'd nail her"
I need help dealing with some very real feelings... Please read on, as I hope this will not be a waste of my time.
I am currently in a relationship with a woman that I am very much in love with. We have been together for over nine years, and I have recently become engaged to her. When we first met, I was introduced to her sisters children. They welcomed me as "uncle" even though I am not. At the time, they were 9 and 11. I took an immediate favor to the older sister, as she was not the typical "Cute kid", or "model child", while her younger sister despite her behavioral problems, was the "family favorite". I bonded with the older sis in a way that I never saw as anything more than me being her "uncle" and as she grew up. She in fact was more disciplined, well mannered, and intelligent. Her appearance was not what her mother want(ed/s) so she was shunned in may ways. I bonded with her because I myself had been in her shoes when I was young, and I know how she must have felt. We share many common interests, and over the years as I have been a mentor and friend to her. I have even shared some of my own "issues" as she has with me.
When she was 15, I realized that my feelings were changing. I started to become attracted to her on a more emotional, and dare I say even physical level. I'm sorry, I am not a pervert, but as she has grown, and matured she's become a very beautiful young woman who happens to share many attributes that attracted me to her aunt, as well as many which her and I have in common on a different level.
It is very complicated. But in my heart I have justified my feelings by telling myself that we in fact are not any where near blood related. I don't think she has the same feelings for me, although we are to this day very close.
I admitted to myself that I am in fact very much in love with her after her 18th birthday. She is now 20 years old, and I cannot stop being in love with her. I myself am older. I am 46 in fact. I know that if I tell her how I truly feel that it would likely destroy the relationship we have, and it would likely hurt her in fact. I can never do that to her. But I've thought so many times, when we say I love you to one another, what she would say if I just stopped and said... No Princess, you don't understand. I am in love with you very much.
She knows that I am more than fond of her, but if I tell her that I'm terrified of what might happen. I've come close to confessing to her aunt more than once as well. And now after what I feel is my confession in this post, I am in so much emotional pain. I do love her aunt very much, and will marry her. But I also feel very passionate about the attraction I have to her.
I had a dream last night about my Princess. I swear on my life I am no pervert, but we were together intimately. It wasn't some twisted perv dream like a dirtbag would have. It was beautiful, and passionate. I love her, and I am in tears as I type this.
Can someone please help me? I know we cannot be together, but I cannot escape the urge to tell her how I really feel inside!