I just wanted him to leave me alone.

I'm 19 and I live with my mom, who's had a drinking problem for some time. She's had drinking buddies (male and female) over at the house before, but they usually don't bother me or come around when I'm not at home. However, a few months ago, she met "Rick" through some mutual friends. He's in his early 30s, while my mom is 43. Not long after they met, he started hitting on me, first by offering to buy me stuff or just making comments about my appearance. Basically just being a pervert all the time without hiding it. I usually ignored him or responded to him sarcastically. But eventually he started actually touching me, usually coming up from behind or press himself against me. I never told my mom, because I didn't want to start a fight. About a month ago, he came over while my mom was still at work. She was supposed to arrive within the hour and told me to let him in. I felt uneasy about it but decided to let him in, then leave to my friends house asap. Not even 10 minutes passed before he started following me around the living room, trying to make small talk and just harassing me in general. I didn't hide that I was annoyed and finally snapped at him. I called him a pervert, a freak, and whatever I could think of.
All of a sudden, he pushed me and pinned me down on the couch and started to kiss and grope me. He unzipped his pants, grabbed my hand, and made me touch him. He kept telling me not to be "so difficult". I managed to push him away and hit him with a remote. He called me a b**** but I just ran out of the house. I ran for a few blocks before calling my friend to pick me up at a nearby park. She wanted to call the police but I told her not to, because after all, he hadn't actually raped me. I had no proof. I spent the night with her, but knew I had to face him eventually. I thought of ways I could get him to leave me alone. In the end, I figured I should just give him what we wanted. So I did.
I had s** with him. I called him after I got out of work and said I needed to speak to him in private. Within an hour I was in his room. I let him do basically everything and just waited for him to get off. It was disgusting, but it had to be done. He hasn't come around lately, or tried to talk to me again. I hope it stays that way. I feel relieved that he seems to be out of the picture (for me) but also a bit worthless, because now I know he just wanted a quick f***. I never even liked him---h***, I hated him---but it makes me wonder what he probably tells his other buddies about me. And I can't believe I went down to his level. I feel gross writing this but I just needed to get it off my chest.


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  • You didn't say if you told your Mom what he was doing? You should have told your Mom and stated that you wouldn't be coming back home as long as she was dating that j***. Allowing him to have s** with you wasn't the best choice.

  • OP here: He and my mom weren't dating, but they were introduced by a mutual friend and they would hang out together with some friends sometimes. (I think he was her friend's coworker or something). I never told her what was going on, mostly because I felt a little bit of it was my fault too---I flirted with him a few times and I guess I gave him the wrong idea. I did try to drop hints a few times to my mother, but the thing is, we already have a really strained relationship. We don't fight nearly as much as we used to, but I try to avoid fighting with her if I can.I don't talk to her that much to be honest. I felt like I could solve this by myself better than she could.

  • Call the police as soon as possible, that's the only thing to do.

  • Ignore the Jesus freaks. You should've reported this guy when he assaulted you----YES, what he did counts as sexual assault---but I understand that you were probably scared. I don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but it doesn't sound so good. :( Still, she needs to know. If she doesn't ditch his stupid ass afterwards, you're better off on your own. You should get yourself checked asap, whether or not you used protection (I really hope you did). Creeps like him seek out young, vulnerable girls like you because they can't get anyone their own age. Also, be prepared for if and when he does come around again. He might come back for more, and you need to be ready to fight this time, like you did last time but harder. There are plenty of self defense tips online! Stay safe sweetie, and good luck. <3

  • Thank you. :)

    It was a cool Friday evening and I was bored but incidentally, I did not want to go for my usual weekend night out. Everything seemed insipid. I was just not happy the way my life was going; wondered why it even bothered me. Usually booze and rough s** and my brand fix would do and I had a string of guys who would do me just for the asking, no just showing up with my well endowed b**** and hip that keeps the guys drooling. Just turned 18 and the hormones were raging.
    Finally, I locked my room door and lay on the bed sulking and moody. I put on the stereo but my favorite gigs were insipid too. What’s really up with the night. What the f**k is it with this scr**d night? Then suddenly, someone was in my room; live, the lights were on. There was this strange feeling of guilt that enveloped me with his presence. He looked young, handsome and immaculate and I felt so dirty and wretched before him. I hid my face on the pillows and goosebumps rippled through my being like a wave on the sandy beach. Then the longest (about) fifteen minutes of silence I ever had in my life and he spoke: “Why have you been avoiding every overture of mine . . .” I was stunned. Overtures? I never knew him from Adam. I was ruminating on his question and shivering with fear in the interlude of about another 10 minutes. I was getting surprisingly relaxed only that guilt was resident in my heart. The next question showed me that this fellow whoever he may be knew what no other knew about me . . . “you shunned all my entreaties and went and killed my son . . .? (pardon I can’t put all the rest of this second part of the question that explored my life down here).

  • I MET SOMEONE CONTINUED: I was stunned the more. “killed his son?” I knew instantly what he meant. I yanked off a six week fetus despite the tug of war in my heart to the contrary. I never told anyone; neither my parents nor my best friend knew. I did not know the father of my baby either (but definitely not this fellow standing here) for I had a “gang bang” in a night two weeks before I missed my period and I was drunk and high. More so I knew I was in my ovulation then. The guilt increased. He seems to allow my heart to absorb his questions before the next one. Then he asked the one I knew was the last; “supposing you die now . . . where are you going to?” I knew immediately that the “man” who could enter my room while the door was securely locked could take my life without even a snap of the fingers. The fear was back with the goosebumps and the guilt intensely multiplied! I began to shiver and quake with sobs and tears streamed freely. The next 10-15 minute was like eternity. I literally saw h***; where I was going to if I had died. I thought the guilt would crush me. Then he did the unimaginable, it was not a question, it was a liberating statement. “An***a (he called my middle name which no one ever called me, not even my parents or at school for everyone called me by my first name) your sins are forgiven . . . for I died for you”. Waooooh!

  • The guilt was gone instantly, I felt new . . . a song simultaneously was triggered in my heart like a skillful DJ had tuned it. I knew instantly (honestly these pieces of knowledge are beyond me) that my name was written in “the book that mattered the most” (whatever that meant) and I also knew him; the one that created me, the one that died for me. I had avoided him all my life and in fact hated him in spite of the fact that my mom knew him and taught us about him. I stood up to embrace him but he was gone; just like he came. The song in my heart was then on my lips (a song I never sang before); I am saved, my heart is healed No more tugged by sin . . . The next week was even more stupefying. I lost the desire for booze, for “my brand fix” for clubbing, stripping, “gang bangs” and the wayward life I’d lived. I only wanted to read a copy of the bible especially the New Testament.I wanted to know him the more. I saw that he said the same liberating word to a w**** like me in Luke seven vs forty eight. That was my best day so far in my life; the day I read that chapter.

  • That was actually not a wise thing indeed! After surviving a rape attempt at least you should have told your mom even if you didn't want to involve the cops. Well, get up and do hope you've gone for medical check. He is high risk and could actually be infected with the worst. On the spiritual side, know that you have failed yourself and your creator who made that body for your husband to cherish. Go to him in prayer of repentance and begin to study his word to behave better as you walk along this life and the life after. Google John 8 and see that Jesus never condemned the lady caught in adultery but told her to "go and sin no more".

  • Shut up.

  • I read your narration with deep sense of empathy. A lot of folks have had enough confusion from a "confused world" to last for a life time! Lack of "personal identity" can bore oneself sick even to having suicide thoughts . Have I once considered suicide in my life? Yes and indeed, many folks you see that walk the streets are full of challenges and pains that were inflicted or innate. In my own case, in my teens , I thought I will not be able to achieve anything because I was abused as a child , lived in a home that always felt like an explosive device was about to ignite. I struggled with these feelings and tried to fill the void via alcohol and "street smokes". I found fake boldness that was transient. I envied and wanted to be like others. I began to steal. Well, I am an adult now, well educated, employed, married, had kids, drug/alcohol/smoke free, and really free from all my demons. How? Yes, I know that this will be the question in your heart. It sounded foolish and dreamlike but it was real. Someone gave me a copy of "New Testament and Psalms and proverbs"; a little blue covered book which could fit into my pocket. It was published by Gideon international. I began to read it from "The Gospel of John" like he advised me. I love reading and it made sense. Well, I may not be able to tell you all that happened to me but I discovered that as I read it daily, I began to be attracted to and talk to the main character in the story; Jesus and it seemed like and old self of mine was dropping off daily. At some point , I was shocked when I was out with my friends and realized that I hadn't touched alcohol in the past 2 weeks! And the stranger thing was that alcohol lost its appeal to me. In fact, it disgusted me. My friends told me that they will "give me just three months" and I will drink myself to stupor like before. well it has been years and I keep getting better; more pleasant than the person I ever tried to be. Jesus is beautiful.

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