I just wanted him to leave me alone.
I'm 19 and I live with my mom, who's had a drinking problem for some time. She's had drinking buddies (male and female) over at the house before, but they usually don't bother me or come around when I'm not at home. However, a few months ago, she met "Rick" through some mutual friends. He's in his early 30s, while my mom is 43. Not long after they met, he started hitting on me, first by offering to buy me stuff or just making comments about my appearance. Basically just being a pervert all the time without hiding it. I usually ignored him or responded to him sarcastically. But eventually he started actually touching me, usually coming up from behind or press himself against me. I never told my mom, because I didn't want to start a fight. About a month ago, he came over while my mom was still at work. She was supposed to arrive within the hour and told me to let him in. I felt uneasy about it but decided to let him in, then leave to my friends house asap. Not even 10 minutes passed before he started following me around the living room, trying to make small talk and just harassing me in general. I didn't hide that I was annoyed and finally snapped at him. I called him a pervert, a freak, and whatever I could think of.
All of a sudden, he pushed me and pinned me down on the couch and started to kiss and grope me. He unzipped his pants, grabbed my hand, and made me touch him. He kept telling me not to be "so difficult". I managed to push him away and hit him with a remote. He called me a b**** but I just ran out of the house. I ran for a few blocks before calling my friend to pick me up at a nearby park. She wanted to call the police but I told her not to, because after all, he hadn't actually raped me. I had no proof. I spent the night with her, but knew I had to face him eventually. I thought of ways I could get him to leave me alone. In the end, I figured I should just give him what we wanted. So I did.
I had s** with him. I called him after I got out of work and said I needed to speak to him in private. Within an hour I was in his room. I let him do basically everything and just waited for him to get off. It was disgusting, but it had to be done. He hasn't come around lately, or tried to talk to me again. I hope it stays that way. I feel relieved that he seems to be out of the picture (for me) but also a bit worthless, because now I know he just wanted a quick f***. I never even liked him---h***, I hated him---but it makes me wonder what he probably tells his other buddies about me. And I can't believe I went down to his level. I feel gross writing this but I just needed to get it off my chest.