Abortion and alone

I had an abortion about 10 days ago.I was afraid.I am not ready yet.Struggling through jobs as well as my relationship.My boyfriend said that he was with me and would support me.But we both knew better.Our parents are suffering from heart ailments and would not be able to bear such a news(My father had a heart attack last year).I am kind of struggling through a bad financial situation as well with neck deep in debts and bank loans.And well my family is partly dependent on me financially.Immediately after my abortion I felt fine but ever since whenever I sit idle or try to relax I see glimpses of dead fetus.I feel alone,I feel unable to talk to anyone.My friends are judgmental about this sort of thing(they can't even accept the fact that I am in a live in relationship).I just feel hopeless and sometimes suicidal.My boyfriend is too busy to listen to my cribbing.He's working all day,he just comes home,eats and sleeps.This makes me feel even more lonely.I can't really focus on studying or reading.I haven't been to work ever since,I didn't want to answer any questions from my colleagues or boss or even tell them(otherwise I would be labelled a w**** and thrown off work) so I told them I have typhoid.My boss is quite harassing as well.All this is making me feel worse and worse.I feel like I'm losing it.It's quite difficult to precisely describe in words the way I am feeling right now.I just hope not to succumb into this darkness that I feel around me.For the record I'm an Indian girl(In general -living with a guy before marriage makes you uncultured and a s***,s** before marriage is a taboo,getting pregnant before marriage makes you a w**** who can't keep her legs closed and an abortion makes you an even greater sinner;all the above is not applicable to the male partner).


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  • I hope you've found your way through the darkness. :)

    FWIW, you did the right thing; too many people (in America) in your situation would go right ahead with having a baby they can't afford or properly care for and expect everyone else to pick up the slack (while voting Republican, as like as not). Ignore the god-botherer below, they're just using your confession to preen about appearing all enlightened.

  • Jesus can be a close friend. Call on him; open the pages of the New Testament to John 8 and see what he said to the woman caught in adultery who they wanted to stone. He said; "I do not condemn you, go and stop sinning . . .". Read the story and more . . . namaste shaanti!

  • Yea, same situation as that of the writer; they caught a lady in the "very act of adultery" and brought her out to stone her. No one asked about the man. In the end, Jesus proved to them that they were all guilty. Poster, find solace in the "Son of God'. I did after I watched the movie "Son of God" on You Tube. It's free to watch. I've got peace.

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