I feel like I'm being crushed
I'm 17. My sister Jane has down syndrome, she is 13. My mom works two jobs to support us. My dad took off three years ago and we don't know where he is. I go to school during the day and take care of Jane at night. I'm in several advanced classed at school. I love my sister. I really do, but the stress of school and taking care of her feels like its starting to break me. Every night I make us dinner. I give her her bath, I make sure she stays on her schedule. Last night she didn't want the food I made so she dumped it on floor. I wanted to scream at her. I was having a hard time keeping my temper in check. I went into my room and just lost it. I started crying uncontrollably. I just couldn't deal with it. I had to pull it together and take care of her. I love her but there are times I hate her. I know that's awful. After I put her to bed I study the rest of the night. My mom gets home around 11:30. I always have something for her to eat. I see the defeat in her. She is doing everything she can to support us. I can't add to her burden. We don't have any family we can turn to. I just want a normal life. I want to ask the girl bio class out on a date. I just want to be a kid. I hate my father for his weakness and taking the easy way out. I hate myself for feeling this way. I don't know how much longer I can keep this all together.