I didnt tell my boyfriend

We were at a bar last night to see his friend's band play. The place was crowded. He wanted to get near the stage to we puched our day up front. I was standing in front of him. About half way through their set he put his hands on my hips. One of his hands moved to my butt and he started fondling me. He kept running his fingers up and down my butt crack over my yoga pants. There was so many people close around us I figured no one could see. Every now and them he would squeeze both my butt cheeks with his hands. I was starting to get really turned on. When his hand went to go between my legs I took I little step apart to let him in. He started rubbing between my legs and I was really starting to get wet. It wasn't until he put his arm me me that I realized it wasn't my boyfriend. He moved off to the side to get a better view. I pushed the guy back and moved over to my boyfriend. I've never let someone touch me like that that I wasn't involve with. I felt violated. The guy left when I pushed him away. I let him touch me because I thought he was my boyfriend. I'm not even sure I have the right to feel violated. I let him do it. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend. I feel guilty.

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  • Perhaps we'll permit Sara another go at this after she's thought it over.. At present, I could show you so many holes in this, your head will spin..

  • Sara again. I told my boyfriend what happened. He was mad at the guy for doing it. He thinks I should have told him that night. This lead to a long conversation about trust. He said he felt that because I didn't tell him that meant I didn't trust him. I told him I felt embarrassed and violated because of it. He wanted me to know that he loves me and supports me. And that when something happens that I don't need to go through it on my own. I asked him not to say anything to people about it. I just feel stupid for letting it happen.

    Last night when I got home he had made us a romantic dinner. It was a good night. :-)

  • Yay!! Very proud of you for telling him. And so glad everything worked out for you (as it should). Sounds like your boyfriend is a keeper! Don't be afraid to talk to someone and remember it wasn't your fault and you're not stupid.

  • You didn't think to LOOK at who was handling you?

  • ^What an ignorant thing to say. Have you ever been to a bar or concert? You are with friends having a good time, you think your friends are behind you and then you realize that they have moved. And yet, you're making this poor girl (who already feels bad) think it's her fault. It's like blaming a rape victim for wearing a top or a skirt. That guy violated her. She thought her boyfriend was standing behind her. Why would you go to concert and think that anyone else other than your boyfriend would be touching you. That guy is a predator. Don't blame the victim. She is probably not the first one he has done this to, and unfortunately not the last. And it is a violation.

  • It's clear you're ignorant regarding concerts ; don't display it all in one place.. You're so naïve that you answered your question in the same context that you presented it.. Better stated, others besides your date are in contact with you BECAUSE you attended a concert where many times people are in close quarters.. That is just the way concerts are.. One knows that going in.. Look goofy, everyone except those in denial knows that some concerts are wild with everybody on their own especially if we're all standing. It's not church! People are inebriated & hopped up on substances.. I hate spoonfeeding you regarding this. What is beyond dispute here is that there are no victims or predators.. We're all grownups here so if one is too immature to comprehend what navigating a concert crowd means, they should steer clear of them until they're prepared.. i.e. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, GET OUT..

  • Hi, my name is Sara. This is my confession. I know this is going to sound odd but I talked to my mom about this today. She and I have always been close and I've always been able to talk to her about anything. Usually she says something like, "well that was dumb of you. Now how are you going move forward?' I told her what happened. She said that I do have the right to feel violated. She told me to tell the boy. That's what she calls my boyfriend. It's sorta a joke between them. Here's the thing I'm having a hard time with. I let myself get into that situation. If I was alone and someone came up and did that to me I think I'd feel that it was different. Two of my best friends are rape survivors. They were violated. I let someone touch me. It wasn't who I thought it was, but I still let it happen. I don't know if I'm making any sense. What happened to me is nothing compared to what happened to my friends. I'm embarrassed and humiliated I let it happen. I'm 19 and I've never someone do something to me like this. Am I overreacting? I know its probably stupid but I'm just confused about it all. My mom convinced me to tell my boyfriend. I'm going to tomorrow. I really appreciate what some of you said. I'll post something here after I talk to him.

  • You do have a right to feel violated. That man was a creep! You didn't do anything wrong... I think you would feel better if you told someone about it, especially your boyfriend. He will understand and will probably be upset at the other person for disrespecting you like that. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

  • Sexy. Verrrrrry sexy!

  • You def have the right to feel violated. however that sounds so hot.

  • Take it to the grave. Get counseling if you need it.

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