I don't want children

Not right now anyways, I'm too young, but my boyfriend always talks about it with me. Especially lately, he keeps saying he wants to give me a child (which turns me on, I'm not going to lie. Especially when he says it during s**, it makes me o*****) and then he goes on to talk about our life with kids in the future and how our kids will be.

He's a lot older than me, so it makes sense for him to be ready for it. He's already experienced life and is in the settling down stage. But I've barely done anything. I've spent the majority of my life looking after my younger brothers and babysitting other people's kids as a job... I'm honestly tired of it, and it puts me on the fence of wanting children in general. Not only that, I want to be free and fully experience life. I want to travel. I want to only think about myself -- and my boyfriend to an extent, because he always relies on my for support a lot. Just thinking about it, it feels like I'm breathing fresh air. I can't do that with children... In fact, it makes me feel suffocated.

Is that wrong?


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  • Absolutely not! If he already relies on you for a lot of support, as you wrote, then imagine having a baby that needs your full attention 24/7 as well. Be honest with him about not wanting kids right now. Get on birth control if you're not already. Stand up for yourself and be prepared to walk out if necessary.

  • No you're not wrong. I was exactly like you, babysat siblings children when young and decided I didn't want to be poor and have no life like them. Along came a spider (and I was mid 30s) so I partied, travelled, had a good job. He begged me to have his baby - said he would be the best dad, yards yada. You get it. Fast forward - he was an epic fail at being a dad, became abusive, dictated everything I was allowed to do. Contributed nothing, and still does NOTHING! He has been through 3 girlfriends since we split; one died. He doesn't even send a letter or card to our child ever. My son never sees him, and it breaks my heart for my son. If you have any doubts DONT DO IT!!!!! I do love my son more than anything and do thank god I was blessed enough to be his mom ??

  • It's not wrong for you to feel that way. But you're with someone who wants children. So you should 1. Be on birth control. 2. Be honest with your partner about how you feel. This relationship may not work in the end. And that is okay, because you need to experience your life and do the things you need to do. You say he's a lot older than you. People always want to say age is just a number, but it isn't always. Like you said, he's a bit more settled. And you have things you want to experience and explore and he may not be into that. And wanting to only think about yourself.. yea, you can't do that when a baby is on board. Can't really do that with a pet on board either.... You may want to walk away from the relationship now and book your next adventure. Really..what are you waiting for?

  • I really don't blame you for not wanting kids. Having a baby is a 24 hour commitment for many, many years. You can kiss your freedom goodbye. No woman should be pressured to have kids; after all, it is us who has to lug the baby around for several months and eventually give birth! Stand your ground. It's nice that it turns you on when he says he wants to impregnate you, but it won't be very sexy to clean up dirty diapers when he isn't around. I'd recommend to first live with him, and eventually marry, if you want to that far. Being a single mother is quite admirable, but must be difficult as h***. I'm 40 and have no kids by choice. I'm very content with my dog. I don't think it's right that he keeps pressuring you to have his baby. Maybe he wants to tie you down and control you? I don't know but you know in your heart what the right thing to do is. There are too many unwanted babies already you know? Good luck and stand your ground!

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