Premature with mom, help

I am 21 yo, i have a gf with 20 yo, im dating her almost 1 year, i leave only with my mom, she have 46 yo. I have a normal relation with my gf, and the ** is completly normal, except that we allways use condom and she never get me put in her **. My mom is not good looking, and her body is not so good. I never have intentions about my mom, but it all changes one day when she fell down from a chair, she beats with her head on the floor and almost got unconscious, she was using a short dress, and when i grab her from the floor to put her in her bed, i look at the mirror and saw her **, her legs tight short white ** and a hairy ** lip aside. I didnt get hard in that time, but after 2 days i start thinking on that, the volume of her ** inside her ** was insane, how big and how it looks? that week she have to take alot of medication, and she starts sleeping more time than normal. My chances coming when she sleeps, so i will resume what hapens. .
1- she was sleeping on her side, i was on her back, pull her nightgow up, move her ** Dawn, till half of her asscrack was visible, i was so excited and dripping precum, i move the head of my ** against her ** crack and her sof skin feels so good that a few rubs and i have to **.
2- she was sleeping again on her side, and i do the same thing, but this time i pull her ** full down, and push the head of my ** directly on her **, i move back and forth along her ** lips, bcause my precum are so much they get so wet, after maybe 10 sec i pull out and **. No penetration.
3- she was in her side, i mover her ** aside just in the spot of her hairy **, i force my ** in her **, because of my amount of precum it was easy to enter the head, the feeling was insane, i push forth and back slowly, and my ** came so quickly that i think the first shot was inside. i pull out and came.

Questions.
My mom ** looks so big comparing to my gf, my mom have a hairy **, with dark Brown lips, her lips are so fat and puffy tighting against each other. my gf have a shave ** with thin lips, and the inner lips are long.
1-When i make ** with my gf i do it for 30 min long, and with my mom without penetration i last around 10 sec or two or three thrusts... why?
2-There are other times that rub my ** on her ** but not so intense like i mension on the (2). i allways left her ** with alot of precum. can she get pregnant?

I touch her maybe for a month, most of times when she sleeps on her back, i ** just looking her **, or touching with my fingers, she looks so tight when i ** her, looks more tight than my gf, my mom never meet a boyfriend since my father, it goes about 15 years back. I even discuss with my gf that i want to ** without condom, but she never let me, maybe thats why i didnt take long with mom, skin with skin feels so good, and her ** is so beautifull.

i need help and not you to judge me, because i know what i did, just pass two months and my mom stop her medication, now i cant do it anymore, but what i did are so fresh in my memories, sometimes i have a ** all day, and alot of precum on my boxers. I cant stop thinking on her, im obcessed and blind with penetrate her ** again. im affraid i cant do some disgrace, even one night i try it again when she sleeps but the best i can do was lift her night dress and see her white **, a big mound, and her vaginal lips tight against her ** making visible her slit. when i was able to unfree my foreskin she moves, and i run to my bedroom, and get so affraid that till today i didnt do it again.

Please advaice???
anyone similiar cases?
thanks

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