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15 year old girl falling for a 27 year old man
I don't know what to do. I've always liked older men. I friended this guy on Facebook and I messaged him. I've talked to him at least everyday. Sometimes just to say hi or ask advice. He is very mature. He is smart, funny, caring. He helps me when I'm sad. I want to tell him that I love him. He is everything I want. I'm not sure if he feels the same. I feel like he flirts with me sometimes but maybe I'm just imagining. He even works in the same town that I live in. Please help.
When I was 24 -- in the late 80s -- I went out on dates six times with a 14yo girl, and I had fallen deeply in love with her. She was the best kisser ever. We weren't making love, just making out. Then one night at dinner she said something offhand about "school" that caught my attention. She had used the word before, but I always assumed she was talking about "college", but the inflection and context that night made it clear she was referring to "high school". She had never lied to me about her age, not once. But I assumed she was around 20 because she hung out with girls about that age. I later learned that one of those other girls was her sister, who was 19, and I had thought that my girlfriend was older. So I got both things wrong. Finally, I just flat out asked her how old she was and when she told me, I nearly died. I wanted to make love with her sooooooo badly and I wanted to be with her permanently. But once I realized how old she was, I knew I had to end it. I still think about her every day (she married somebody else and moved away) and I miss her. I also still love her. But it was jarring to realize how close I came to being with her (she'd had several partners before we met, all older than me) and how close I was to going to jail. Be straight up with your man. Talk to him. The two of you should decide together whether to have ANY relationship and, if so, how far to let it go.
First of all, be clear with him about how old you are. It doesn't appear for certain that you've told this man. (Perhaps you've done so, and just didn't indicate it here.) Second, don't leave it to him to be the responsible party alone: the two of you CANNOT have a meaningful relationship in this day and age, and you must operate on the basis of that assumption. You aren't Mary from the Bible and you aren't Juliette from Shakespeare: you're a child and he's not a child. Third, ANY kind of relationship between the two of you -- other than (perhaps) teacher and student -- would produce a mess for both of you. If it's just two people communicating about the world or politics or the weather or whatever, and doing that ON LINE, that's okay; but if it crosses over into romance or intimacy or passion, it's going to blow up. Please don't do that to yourself, or allow him to do it to himself or to you.
Pah you're all boring fools. Of course she should go for it. Ask him, talk to him about it. Love is too precious to waste.
Do you want him to go to jail if you meet him?